Student Question: After reading your articles, I realize that as someone in the tech field, I tend to be a wallflower in social situations. How do I develop my own social tree? How do I find and connect with the “hidden small wealthy people in the city” or the “hidden local money in smaller towns”?
Master Chi’s Response: What you’re describing comes down to a fundamental question of sequence. The four steps are: Step One — do things; Step Two — establish your name; Step Three — enter circles; Step Four — build your network.
The problem you’re asking about is mainly related to Step Three. But to do that well, you need the foundation that the first two steps provide.
1. Do Things
If you’re in tech, do you have skills actually worth showcasing? If you’re a lawyer, have you won impressive cases? If you’re in sales, do you have strong results — can you close the difficult clients others can’t? A person who wants to succeed must first be willing to endure the quiet, unglamorous grind of developing one or several skills as their foundation.
2. Establish Your Name
We are all social beings — we can’t exist apart from our professional identity. When we introduce someone, we say, “This is so-and-so the lawyer,” or “This is the director at such-and-such school.” These are all forms of your name. In your case, that means your technical skills, your reputation, your years of experience, and your track record in the industry. All of that is your name.
3. Enter Circles
You can’t keep spinning in the same familiar circles. Building on Step Two, you need to continuously push into new ones. Your name determines whether other circles will accept you. If you’re a lawyer known for winning cases, you’ll naturally end up meeting entrepreneurs — that’s the circle your professional standing opens up for you.
4. Build Your Network
This is the ultimate goal. The contacts sitting in your friends list are never truly your network. Real connections come from using your resources and abilities to help others, and from allowing others to help you in return — constantly reinforcing those relationships through mutual benefit, meeting new people through your existing circles. Only then can you truly get ahead.
If you get the sequence backwards — if you don’t yet have results worth standing on and you jump straight to seeking out influential people — even if you manage to meet various big names, those so-called connections will never actually work for you.