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Student Question: Master Chi, hello. I’ve been feeling very frustrated at work lately. I wanted to get promoted, so I took on all the hard and thankless tasks. But when performance evaluations came around, none of the recognition came my way. On top of that, I constantly have to manage all kinds of relationships with colleagues. It’s emotionally draining. I’d like to ask for your guidance.
Master Chi’s Response: I’ve previously spoken about the true nature of companies, colleagues, managers, and promotions. I wonder how many of you actually took those words to heart.
If to this day you still haven’t made any changes — if you’re the same person at work as you were before — then that’s truly a waste.
Take colleagues, for example. In all likelihood, they are your competitors. No matter how good your relationship is, when you’re both competing for the same position, no one is going to nobly step aside. Otherwise, what’s everyone even there for?
This is why I’ve always said: don’t be too emotionally open with colleagues. And certainly don’t become such close friends that you share everything — because in the long run, once a friendship sours, the closer you were, the more you’ll regret it.
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1. The true nature of a company is that it’s a platform for personal development. We can be diligent and dedicated in our work. But if that dedication isn’t translating into personal growth — say, if the promotion queue is too long, or you simply no longer want to climb the ladder — then grinding away for its own sake serves little purpose. It’s time to find another path.
2. So I hope you can look past the surface and grasp the essence of things. This is a critically important ability. Some people spend years before they finally see what others understood at a glance. Can two such people reach the same heights in life? Of course not.
Some people work for years after graduation before they realize they’ve been going down all the wrong roads — while others start early, learning and doing and summing up experience as they go, rarely taking detours. The heights they reach will naturally be different.
So as the saying goes: knowing others is wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment.
And the first thing is: knowing yourself.
What exactly do you want from your workplace? Get clear on that, and a lot of unnecessary frustrations simply disappear.
Here’s an example. Say someone is in sales and they’re fixated on closing every single client. They feel miserable every time a deal falls through. Thinking and working this way will inevitably be exhausting. Why? Because the outcome you want is vastly out of step with reality.
What you actually need is to concentrate your time and energy on clients with real potential — not waste yourself on people who will never buy.
Step one: be clear about what you want, and whether it matches reality.
Step two: knowing others is wisdom. In life, we inevitably have to build relationships with people to get what we want. To do that, you need a basic understanding of the other person. Very often, the reason we handle things poorly is that we don’t truly understand the other party — or the information we have about them is wrong, and they haven’t told us what they really think.
What do they like? What don’t they like? What are their ambitions?
Some people love to play the teacher. When others run into problems, they rush to share their experience and advice — yet the other person doesn’t appreciate it. One important reason: you don’t truly understand their situation. Another: they don’t trust you enough yet.
It’s the same in sales. You might think your product is excellent, but the client doesn’t buy. Often it’s because you don’t understand the client — what have they purchased before? What products? How much have they spent? Through which channels do they usually buy?
And then there’s insufficient trust. You present a solution, and the client nods along on the surface — but takes no action. They agree in words but not in their heart.
When we seek to understand others, it’s because we want to influence them — to get what we want. And the ultimate goal is for them to be genuinely convinced, not just superficially agreeable.