TITLE: A Dinner Worth Savoring: Why Beauty Without Refinement Falls Short
Let me share a little anecdote from this evening — it happened just a couple of hours ago, during dinner.
This afternoon, a friend called out of the blue to invite me to his soon-to-open restaurant for a tasting. He claimed to have recruited a Japanese chef from a two-Michelin-star restaurant in Japan, one who specializes in kappo-style Japanese cuisine, and said he wanted my input.
I knew full well that asking for my “opinion” was just a pretext. While I have a deep love for good food, I have no real expertise in cooking. If something is fresh and genuinely delicious, I’m happy to give it full marks.
I arrived around seven. Just as he’d described: refined interior, premium ingredients, a professional team. In Shanghai’s ferociously competitive high-end Japanese dining scene, this place is gunning for the ¥3,000-per-head tier.
But the most memorable part of that dinner wasn’t the food at all. It was the two young women seated at the table next to mine.
According to my friend, they were local social media influencers invited by his business partner to help generate buzz — filming some content, that sort of thing. Perfectly normal. In this day and age, what business can survive without marketing?
What made for uncomfortable dining, however, was the conversation between these two women.
The subject of their discussion was their turbulent romantic lives over the past few years. But the language they used was saturated with a staggering level of profanity — nearly every sentence, from start to finish, was bookended with something like “what the f**king hell” or “I’m so goddamn done with this.”
And here’s the irony: the very problem they were agonizing over was why — despite having model figures and striking good looks — they could only ever seem to attract low-grade men online who were after their bodies, and could never earn the genuine interest of a truly decent, quality man.
To be clear: I wasn’t eavesdropping intentionally. The two women simply spoke at considerable volume, and seating at a Japanese counter-style restaurant is inherently close. Tuning them out simply wasn’t an option.
Just as I was trying to mind my own business — eyes on the food, mind inward — my friend suddenly turned to the two influencers and announced: “Oh, you were just asking about your love life? The gentleman right next to you is Master Chi! Half the female celebrities in Shanghai have had their destiny charts read by him!”
Immediately, both women’s eyes lit up. One of them, quite breezily, said: “Oh! You’re the Master Chi that our sister Yu is always talking about! Come on, read our charts right now!”
My response was simple. I offered a polite smile and told them: “I’m sorry — my energy really is limited each day. If you’re genuinely interested, feel free to book an appointment in advance.” And with that, I took my leave.
I make it a rule to avoid entangling myself in other people’s karma (因果) without reason — especially when someone’s Chi field (气场) is, shall we say, plainly inauspicious from the start. I have always kept a respectful distance from such situations.
After dinner, I gave my friend a red envelope for his opening and prepared to head home.
He walked me to the door. I patted him on the shoulder and said: “I know you meant well, brother — but going forward, try to stay out of things like this yourself. Too much negative energy, and it’s especially harmful for people in business.”
To my surprise, that sparked his own curiosity. He turned to me and asked: “Brother, I’ve actually been wanting to ask you — why is it that women like that can’t even hold the attention of a reasonably accomplished, educated man? I’ve been meaning to bring it up.”
Fair enough. So I shared this with him:
“As the saying goes, ‘words reveal what’s in the heart.’ Think about it carefully. Those two women may have polished appearances — but their speech is like spitting on the pavement.”
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking that kind of language is ‘badass’ or ‘authentic.’ That manner of speech tells you everything: for their entire lives — and I mean their entire lives — they have never once moved in any circle of real substance. They have never had a meaningful relationship with a single person of genuine standing.”
“That’s precisely why their conduct is so crude beneath the polished surface. The contradiction — refined appearance, coarse behavior — makes complete sense once you see it this way.”
“Because if they had been exposed to higher standards, they would have felt ashamed of how they speak.”
“Now, I’m not saying that people who’ve moved in better circles never use profanity. But making profanity the mortar between every single sentence — that habit forms for exactly two reasons: a compulsive need to vent emotions, and a desperate need to project toughness. Any person with even a basic degree of intelligence, after spending time in better company, will correct themselves almost immediately.”
“But if they’ve never been in those circles? Then they genuinely spend their entire lives treating low standards as simply the way things are. It becomes impossible to change.”
“These women may have built some small fame and accumulated decent windfall income through the influencer economy over the past couple of years. But their overall cultivation remains very low. And low cultivation means — aside from their looks — they have absolutely no soft capital worth mentioning.”
“The result? Men of real quality don’t take them seriously. So naturally, the only men they end up attracting are low-grade types online, fixated entirely on their bodies.”
“Does the logic hold?”
I then mentioned: this type of woman is one I’ve historically been reluctant to read destiny charts for. Naturally, a sufficiently generous consultation fee can sometimes persuade me otherwise.
Because countless real-world cases have confirmed one thing: a woman with such low innate discernment — no matter how clearly I explain her destiny chart, no matter if I spell out the precise characteristics of her ideal partner, the approximate age at which he’ll appear, and the clearest path toward her wealth fortune (财运) — it makes no difference whatsoever.
She will circle back, endlessly, to just two questions: Does he have money? And will he spend that money on me?
At that point, continuing the conversation becomes pointless. Keeping a respectful distance is, quite honestly, the greatest courtesy one can offer to both parties.
As my friend slowly nodded and let this sink in, my car arrived.
Back home now, the hour is too late for something long — but this little anecdote struck me as both amusing and genuinely worth turning over in the mind. So I’ve written it down to share with you. I hope you find something useful in it.