When a family sinks into decline and poverty, there is always a reason: the family has no navigator.
A navigator is someone with a grand life pattern (格局), far-reaching vision, and clear understanding — a core figure who can look at objective reality and know exactly how the family should take each step forward.
The moment a family has even one such navigator, all internal friction, conflict, and strife dissolve. Everyone’s strength converges toward a single great goal.
With that alignment, even a family of entirely ordinary people can flourish — building an ever-stronger family culture that carries forward through the generations.
What troubles me most is the family where the parents themselves have accomplished nothing, yet are consumed by an overwhelming need for control and a profound narrowness of heart. To keep their children compliant and obedient, they resort to all manner of selfish, cutting behavior.
This is the situation that weighs on me the most.
Because I have seen countless promising individuals with exceptional destiny patterns — all held back by exactly this kind of family of origin.
Are these parents bad people? No. They still carry the basic conscience of being human.
A more fitting word for them is petty people.
Because of their narrow worldview, they cannot see what far-sighted effort even looks like.
Because of their narrow hearts, jealousy, insecurity, and the need to control arise instinctively — they cannot help it.
In the end, all they can do is cry out at the top of their lungs from their small, cold nest — declaring how much they have sacrificed for you. All of it designed to morally manipulate you into becoming the last pitiful person on earth who still submits to their will.
Countless readers have asked me: if you find yourself in a family like this, what do you do?
My answer is simple. Give them basic care and attention — but tell them clearly, in the most unambiguous language you have: “Your thinking is outdated. I respect and love you, but I cannot follow you.”
Simple. Clear. Direct.
Then, boldly begin walking the path that belongs to you alone.