What is it, exactly?
As you slowly move into middle age, you must cultivate a mindset of letting yourself off the hook — and letting others off the hook too.
No ruminating. No explaining yourself. No flattering. No second-guessing.
Whatever you do, stop draining yourself with that exhausting habit of turning every decision over and over in your mind, trying to account for everyone’s feelings at every step.
Just focus on doing your own thing well. Then, openly and generously, offer your warmth and energy to the people who deserve it — the ones who can actually see and appreciate you.
As for everyone else? Don’t lose sleep over it. Those kinds of entanglements were never going to untangle neatly anyway.
Many brothers and sisters come to Master Chi for a reading of their life pattern (格局) and Chi fortune (气运), and almost all of them are haunted by the same question: “Master, I’m so worried about what so-and-so thinks of me. I care so much about their feelings. What should I do?”
Master Chi’s answer is simple.
Focus entirely on taking care of yourself. Concentrate your mental energy. Then put your head down and keep moving upward.
Stop chasing the impossible dream of being liked by everyone. That will never happen.
In this life, if three out of ten people genuinely like you, and seven out of ten don’t actively dislike you — that’s already remarkable.
You will never have everyone’s love.
And there is absolutely no reason to sacrifice your own Chi (气), your clarity, your energy — just to manage someone else’s feelings.
So just be yourself. That’s enough.
You are who you are. Whether others see that as good or bad, you owe no one a rebuttal.
Don’t believe me? Think about it — have you ever seen one adult actually change another adult’s deep-seated opinion of them through a few words of explanation?
In the eyes of a petty person, everyone looks like a thorn. In the eyes of a base person, everyone looks like meat on a plate.
But in the eyes of a noble benefactor (贵人), you look like a thoroughbred stallion, no matter how they look at you.
And in the eyes of someone who truly loves you, you are treasure — every time, without exception.
These few simple words — I hope that after reading them, you’re able to set down a little more of what you’ve been carrying.