I’ve been wanting to say something lately — something to quiet the restless hearts of people caught in this era of relentless competition and burnout (what the Chinese call neijuan — the exhausting spiral of diminishing returns). So let me share a small insight from the angle I know best: life pattern (格局).
There are three things you must always keep clearly separated: your own affairs, other people’s affairs, and heaven’s affairs.
For your own affairs — never place your hopes in anyone else. Every day, just steadily advance with a foot-soldier’s mindset, moving things forward one step at a time. Don’t fixate on winning or losing; just keep your head down and push forward. In the process, your skills and wisdom will refine themselves naturally — you don’t need to worry about that.
For other people’s affairs — first judge whether this person is worth it, then help if you can. But don’t exhaust every last bit of yourself trying to drag someone out of their suffering. Do what you genuinely can, then let go. Live by this principle, and your reputation and karmic merit (福报) will naturally deepen — and you won’t put yourself at risk in the process.
For heaven’s affairs — don’t trouble yourself over them at all. The rise and fall of circumstances, the turning of the world — none of this is within your control or mine. The only thing to do is ride the current of the times within the scope of what you can actually influence. Don’t let missed opportunities sink you into regret, and don’t let sudden windfalls make you lose yourself.
Master these three points and you can essentially free yourself from anxiety, move in harmony with your destiny, and act with ease. So why can’t most people manage this?
Because they constantly mix the three up. For instance, taking something that heaven has already decided and treating it as something you must personally fix — this breeds uncontrollable anxiety, and it’s entirely unnecessary. In this life, there are inevitably many problems and flaws that simply cannot be overcome. They must be fully released before you can be free of their grip. The more you resist, the deeper you sink.
Conversely, things that are genuinely yours to handle get handed off to heaven and other people. Most unhappy marriages, collapsed careers, and costly misjudgments stem from exactly this failure. Many things absolutely cannot be delegated — they require your direct attention, your own serious cultivation, and ultimately your own hand on the wheel.
It really is that simple. There is no profound mystery here.
So the next time you face an unsolvable problem in life, the first question to ask yourself is: “Whose business is this, really? Mine? Someone else’s? Heaven’s?” Once you’re clear on that, the worry and the anxiety will dissolve on their own.