Since the end of last year, Master Chi has wanted to write an article — a real conversation with parents like you about how to raise children more effectively in today’s world. How to help your child become genuinely excellent, truly exceptional, powerfully strong.
Why? Because Master Chi has read far too much content on this topic, and my immediate impression is always the same: the scope is too narrow. Most of it focuses only on a child’s studying and academic performance.
What’s missing is the true “macro view of life” — the higher-level wisdom of what it actually means to raise a child well.
Instead, people go round and round obsessing over problem-solving techniques, exam strategies, and teacher criticism — things that, years from now, both you and your child will have completely forgotten.
To be direct: Master Chi has personally witnessed the growth of countless truly outstanding children over a lifetime. And what actually determines the path these children take ultimately comes down to these 10 essentials:
1 — Have at least one clear-thinking elder in the family
At the absolute bare minimum, have one adult who can see what the child is genuinely made of, and guide them accordingly from an early age — rather than fixating on academics as the one and only path forward.
2 — Don’t spoil the child
Parents and elders who understand that growing up is, by nature, a process of becoming gradually independent. Not foolishly letting the child drill practice problems all day while never lifting a finger around the house — that’s not growth.
3 — Talk to your child about the big decisions
Patiently explain the context and reasoning behind important family matters. Calmly analyze your own rights and wrongs, your choices and trade-offs, so that your child can genuinely stand on the shoulders of your experience and grow from there.
4 — Stay curious about new technology — together
Parents should be willing to deeply explore new technological developments, then discuss them with their children. Not parents in their thirties or forties who have completely fallen behind the pace of change.
5 — Expose your child to higher-quality peer circles — especially if your child is a struggling student
Don’t let them stay trapped in a circle of underachievers — that only leads to dragging each other down and finding excuses to slack off. It’s fine if a child isn’t great at academics; put them in circles where kids excel at sports or have strong, passionate hobbies. Positive energy is genuinely contagious.
6 — Taking your child on vacation is NOT broadening their horizons — it’s just a holiday
(Some parents sincerely believe sightseeing trips count as “seeing the world” — that’s completely mistaken.)
What truly broadens a child’s perspective is deeply observing how people at different levels of society actually live and make a living. This is why Master Chi has always strongly encouraged children to do some light part-time work during summer breaks, or to help their parents with small supporting tasks.
7 — Phone addiction is usually the family’s fault
The real reason most children become obsessed with their phones is that their family hasn’t given them anything more compelling to pursue. I won’t go deep into this — I’ll simply say that nearly every child Master Chi has encountered who doesn’t have a phone addiction developed strong habits around sports and deep reading from an early age. That holds true for about 90% of them.
8 — Guide your child toward basic business thinking
Master Chi can tell you plainly: children whose parents guide them well in this area often start earning their own spending money during middle school. Kids who are skilled at games help classmates with level progression. Kids who are into collectible cards and anime merchandise figure out early which items hold value and how to profit reasonably from trading them. These children are no longer rare today — some have saved enough to cover their own university living expenses.
9 — Read great books. Seriously.
Master Chi has noticed that almost every child who, during their growing years, has a somewhat dim personality, shows little respect for their parents, or struggles with self-discipline — almost universally reads very few quality books.
Whenever parents come to me asking about their child’s life pattern and asking me to map out their child’s future, I always ask one question first: How many full-length, quality books has your child actually read cover to cover?
That single question leaves many parents staring at each other in silence.
Here’s a benchmark: no matter how busy a child is, one classic — Chinese or foreign — per season is entirely achievable. Four books a year.
Master Chi doesn’t exaggerate the power of reading. But if a young child, guided by their parents, can develop the patience to build a habit of reading long-form work consistently, the improvements to their intelligence, logic, awareness, critical thinking, and patience are genuinely enormous.
10 — Lead by example with radical honesty
This last one is the most important — almost no family does it, but Master Chi believes you can.
Once your child is past 12, proactively and honestly share the mistakes you’ve made at different stages of your own life. Explain them objectively and calmly — why they happened, and how you corrected course.
Don’t avoid this. It won’t just give your child the deepest possible trust in your courage and honesty — it will also allow you to do a meaningful mid-life review and emerge in a renewed, evolved state.
The sad reality is that most parents, once they reach a certain age, become rigid and incapable of admitting fault. They become exactly the kind of person they once despised, unable to break free from the negative cycle of a draining household. And in doing so, they lock down the entire family’s potential.
Master Chi does not want you to repeat this pattern.
These ten principles are the essence of it all.