Introduction: Achievement has always required going against the crowd. Success is always born of decisive, independent action. As the saying goes — when disaster draws near, it is already too late to guard against it. The greatest slander in your life most often comes from those who are closest to you.
“A perfectly capable person — held back entirely by the six relations (liu qin) around them.”
This is something Master Chi has said with resignation ever since he began offering public consultations.
The frustration comes from witnessing too many talented people — through a moment of carelessness or compromise — listening to the whispers of the mediocre around them, and ultimately falling short of the achievements that were well within their reach.
No doubt you’ve experienced this yourself.
They may be the people closest to you in life — the ones you cannot avoid. And what they love most is wielding the logic of “I’m doing this for your own good” to influence and manipulate your choices. All in service of their own hidden agendas.
Sometimes, in a moment of clarity, you push back — and they respond with resentment and blame.
Other times, you give in against your better judgment. The outcome is predictably bleak. And when they witness this, they either look the other way and change the subject — or launch into another round of criticism and unsolicited advice.
In short: entirely unbothered.
But have you ever stopped to consider — the people who appear closest to you on the surface may be the very ones harboring the deepest ill intent?
The reason “ill intent” is in quotes is simply this: they are not necessarily evil in any true sense — but they are not thinking of your wellbeing the way they claim to be.
Take the many parents who insist they are acting in their children’s best interests, pushing them to stay close to home and hold down a safe, stable job. In truth, what they really want is for their children to always be nearby to look after them — with just enough work to get by.
Or consider the many husbands who claim they don’t want their wives to work too hard — constantly nudging them to pass on career advancement and new opportunities. In reality, they simply want their wives to remain one rung below them forever — so that one day their wives won’t look down on them.
By the same token, there are wives who don’t want their husbands to thrive too much — and under the guise of “family comes first,” forbid them from attending social engagements and business dinners. What they fear is that the more their husbands move in the world, the greater the chance of new entanglements.
Then there are the so-called friends and close companions who collectively shoot down your ambitions the moment you talk about striking out on your own — pouring cold water on your resolve just as you’re ready to take the leap. Because in their eyes, the moment you rise, you become a mirror reflecting their own inadequacy and failure.
As Master Chi has said: they may wish you success — but they absolutely do not wish you too much of it.
And the best way to break free from this dynamic is to learn to stand alone.
Learn to face every challenge and hardship by yourself — with reason and composure, even under pressure. To confront failure after failure, setback after setback, entirely on your own.
Through this process, no one will understand you. No one will help you. No one will encourage you. Everyone will watch with cold detachment, waiting for you to give up and fall apart.
Master Chi wants to be absolutely clear: no one can know how long this path will demand your endurance, or how much you will be put through.
But one thing is certain: the moment you set foot on this path, you have already demonstrated the courage to forge your own future.
And that courage — that single defining stroke — is what draws the line between your destiny and theirs. Not everyone has it in them to pick up that brush.
So once you’ve stepped onto this road, never look back. Don’t give them the satisfaction of laughing at you — and more importantly, don’t give yourself reason to regret.
And here is what will surprise you most: once you begin to carry the weight alone, you’ll suddenly discover that those obstacles people described as impossibly daunting are in fact nothing more than difficulties that can be resolved, one by one, simply by facing them with a calm and steady mind.
As Master Chi likes to joke: “Even in the darkest economic times, very few business owners actually jump off buildings.”
And one day, you will carve out your own territory on this road — and begin to meet those who are truly of the same life pattern (ge ju) as you.
Only then will you understand: some people share a bond with you simply by blood. Others share a bond with you because you are cut from the same cloth.
And from that point on, you will finally understand why so many people who hold great power and achievement carry themselves with an air of dominance and uncompromising independence.
Because only he knows how to play his own hand. Everyone else’s opinions are nothing more than insignificant footnotes.
In this world, anyone who can take a seat at the table and play their hand against fate is already a person of remarkable courage. As for those who only dare to hover at the edges, muttering endlessly — their words are nothing but noise. They must never be mistaken for guidance.
The only voices worth listening to are those of people who are further ahead than you — those who have genuinely achieved something. The true veterans.
They have walked the same eighty-one trials as you. They have endured the same cold indifference of the world.
They are card-players, just like you.