Before you know it, year-end is approaching again. This time of year, my inbox always fills up with messages from readers asking how to get through the coming stretch.
I’ve taken the time to carefully analyze this — the people who struggle through the year-end and find themselves stuck deep in life’s quicksand — what fatal mistakes did they actually make to end up where they are?
What I found confirmed that old saying: “If you don’t court disaster, disaster won’t find you.” Nearly every case came down to one or more of the following reasons.
I suggest you come back to this article from time to time as a warning bell for yourself. It’s also worth sharing with your spouse — read it together and avoid the pitfalls.
1
For whatever reason, the woman in the household becomes a full-time homemaker — or both partners simply lie flat and stop working altogether, living off their savings until nothing is left.
The biggest hidden danger of this lifestyle is that whoever stops engaging with society and the real economy will — 100,000% guaranteed — slowly fall out of sync with the world as time passes.
What follows is suspicion, self-doubt, conflict, and friction — all of it draining the energy of everyone in the household, and ultimately planting the seeds of divorce.
Whenever a full-time homemaker comes to me for a destiny reading (格局 analysis), I always give one clear, unambiguous piece of advice: if you truly cannot work a regular job, you must — absolutely must — build some small side income of your own. Sell group-buy products, make small crafts, bake pastries — something.
Because the moment you can earn even 100 yuan a month on your own out in the world, it means you haven’t lost your connection to society.
You won’t become a pressure cooker of unpredictable psychological tension and family conflict from being sealed away at home.
And to be precise — this applies regardless of gender and regardless of the household’s financial situation.
2
Getting swept up in hobbies — because you’ve accumulated a modest nest egg in your thirties or forties and start pouring money, without limit, into cameras, fishing gear, antiques, collectibles, motorcycles, or luxury goods.
Let me be clear: virtually every person in Master Chi’s circle who is a true “player” in these worlds can cover their expenses through their hobby — and even turn a tidy profit on the side. They buy something and immediately think about the next deal. They use their genuine deep expertise and years of industry connections to create a healthy economic cycle.
The dangerous type is the half-baked dabbler — someone who never masters the hobby but hauls gear and gadgets home by the truckload, only to find, when the numbers are tallied, that every single line item is an expense, with not one source of income.
This is the classic case of a hobby consuming a person — and the worst kind at that: “not even good enough at the hobby to make it worthwhile.” It gradually eats away at the family’s financial foundation, and any upward trajectory becomes increasingly unrealistic.
3
Mimicking the consumption habits of people one or several rungs above you on the social ladder — when you haven’t actually reached that level.
Driving only luxury cars. Living only in upscale developments. Every restaurant meal must be 300+ per person, otherwise it feels beneath you. Never buying affordable quality goods — only designer brands or at minimum “entry-level luxury.” Every aspect of spending is pushed to the absolute edge of what you can afford, with zero thought given to wealth accumulation or keeping a safety net.
The most terrifying version: a dual-income household with a decent but ordinary salary, yet absolutely insisting on private school for the children — competing on educational investment against families who are clearly operating at the level of their own employers.
Households with this tendency almost always end up the same way: the children don’t turn out especially well anyway, the family savings are burned through, and the original financial foundation is squandered along with it.
4
Having absolutely no honest assessment of your own abilities — then getting laid off or quitting, and instead of reflecting on “why couldn’t I even hold onto a basic job,” deciding: “everything happens for a reason, I’m free now, time to start a business.”
People like this have a 99% chance of destroying their own lives.
Master Chi has said this many times, though only people who have actually built something significant tend to understand it — so I’ll say it again: the good opportunities in entrepreneurship, investing, and business almost never emerge from scratch out of thin air.
They come from going deep enough in a particular field that small, legitimate opportunities begin to come to you naturally — and then you validate your abilities step by step and grow from there.
Anyone who can’t understand this principle, and still blindly throws money into a business, will almost certainly end up buried in debt. Under that pressure, they’ll make worse and worse decisions, entering a downward spiral.
The final destination: a snowball of compounding losses — and total self-abandonment.
5
Marital infidelity — because you can’t control yourself, and you tell yourself you’ve hidden it well enough that it won’t blow up.
Master Chi is absolutely certain of this: among the handful of life catastrophes capable of triggering a massive, cascading butterfly effect of destruction, divorce caused by marital infidelity is the undisputed champion.
The events that accompany infidelity are inevitable: prolonged, brutal fighting; the exposure and retaliation that comes when a third party is dragged in; fierce battles over accumulated family wealth; a severe deterioration in both parties’ quality of life; and permanent damage to family members and children.
More importantly, both people involved lose faith in marriage itself — which could have been one of life’s greatest multipliers.
It’s simple: the betrayed party finds it nearly impossible to trust again. The betraying party stops believing in human nature and in whoever they meet afterward.
This is why so many people burned by infidelity go on to marry two, three, even four times.
And they say goodbye forever to the possibility of two people genuinely, honestly working together to build a family that grows stronger and more prosperous with time.
6
Taking on debt beyond what you can actually carry.
In multiple previous articles, I’ve been clear about this: all loans combined — mortgage included — should ideally stay under 40% of your total household income. 30% is better.
Even if those numbers mean you can’t immediately buy the home you want or drive the car you dream of — don’t cross that line.
Let me remind you of something: most ordinary people play their worst hands because sustained pressure, anxiety, and frustration push them toward a one-time gamble — hoping to win big and solve everything at once.
What they don’t realize is that decisions made under pressure, anxiety, and frustration are almost always short-sighted and reckless. They only make things worse.
So: live within your means, move in small steps. Even if progress feels slow, it’s completely fine. Stay the course, and you will eventually reach a state of comfortable, modest stability — whether it takes fifteen years or eighteen or twenty, that’s all the difference amounts to.
7
Never — ever — touch pornography, gambling, or drugs.
If you have physical urges, handle them quietly and privately. If you enjoy gambling, keep it to a friendly card game with family during the holidays.
As for drugs? Anything claiming that one small dose will lift your mood and dissolve your stress — unless it was prescribed by a licensed hospital, walk away without a second’s hesitation.
That’s enough for tonight. Plenty here to sit with and reflect on slowly.
And if something is weighing on you — leave a comment. I won’t make it public. Think of it as a place to let things out. Pressure shouldn’t be held in indefinitely; it needs a release valve.
Don’t worry. Only the sky, the earth, you, and I will know.