Perhaps it’s due to shifts in the heavenly stars, but many sisters have been seeking me out by reputation, asking me to read and analyze their romance fortune.
Since that’s the case, I’ll dedicate this piece to a frank conversation about romance.
As always — no rambling, straight to the core.
1
Don’t listen to the misguided claims of low-level relationship bloggers who say things like “a woman only needs inner beauty, and the right person will always appear to appreciate her.”
That is pure toxic nonsense — do not fall for it.
To every sister who comes to me asking about her romantic life pattern (格局), I always repeat the same thing: human beings are still, at their core, animals driven by hormones and the endocrine system.
Which means your looks and your figure will always be the decisive factors in your appeal to the opposite sex.
That’s not to say that if you’re heavy and plain you’ll never find a good match — after all, someone wins the lottery too. But a graceful figure and clear, attractive features will always give you greater inner confidence and a wider, higher-quality field of choices when it comes to a partner.
2
The quality of your spouse is a direct reflection of your own capabilities, judgment, and breadth of vision.
Don’t sit there complaining that your partner is useless, unreliable, or unfaithful. You’re both adults — this was your choice, so own the consequences.
I always advise sisters: before entering marriage, have the highest-status and most accomplished elder in your circle vet the other person for you. Have them assess his real quality.
The reason is simple: when you are still weak, your discernment is weak too. You simply don’t yet have the eye to tell the good from the bad.
3
Even today, most people still get married on the basis of “deep mutual feelings” — which is naive and shortsighted.
The essence of marriage is the most binding alliance of interest in the world.
It is two people locking together their plans, ambitions, endeavors, and destinies — and charging forward as one.
So sit down like a true adult, lay out your strategic vision for the future in full, talk it through completely, and only then commit to marriage.
99% of people in unhappy marriages never had that conversation before they wed.
4
In my entire life, I have rarely encountered a woman with decent looks, a smooth career, a respectable family background, and clear thinking who genuinely struggled to find a suitable match.
Some people clearly don’t meet those four criteria — yet remain convinced they do. That’s where things get uncomfortable.
5
If you observe carefully, you’ll notice that society’s different social tiers are separated not only by wealth and status.
Those with troubled marriages and frequent divorces form one circle. Those with happy marriages and harmonious families form another.
So which circle do you want to move toward? That’s entirely up to you.
6
No matter how difficult the road to romance may seem, in my view the response is always straightforward. It comes down to two things:
First — before the right romance arrives, what specific adjustments should you be making in yourself right now?
Second — knowing the characteristics, circumstances, and signs of the partner who is truly right for you, and identifying the timing that offers the greatest chance of a good outcome.