Never lower yourself to seek anyone’s pity or affection — because doing so is drinking poison to quench your thirst.
Even if you end up together, the price you’ll pay is a slow, prolonged burning of yourself in exchange for a fleeting, hollow warmth.
In the end, it amounts to nothing more than years of self-delusion and a heart completely drained dry.
This is especially common among women — because proportionally, women tend to love more completely, more resolutely, and more recklessly. And so the price they pay is greater — sometimes an entire lifetime.
When it comes to relationships, my advice to you will always be: better to wait for the right one than to settle for the wrong one.
Because once you’ve been truly loved, truly cared for, truly held as someone who matters — you’ll understand that real love is nourishing and symbiotic. It’s him wanting to give you ten, and you wanting to give eleven, and him then wanting to give twelve — a virtuous arms race of devotion.
That is precisely the kind of bond worth seeking with everything you have. And when I do destiny readings for my readers, finding that kind of connection is what I consider the real work.
I remember a sister from two years ago who had been trapped in a deeply unhealthy relationship for years. She had been deceiving herself, making excuses again and again for a partner who had failed her countless times.
It wasn’t my place to pull her away from him. Instead, I told her plainly:
As an outsider, I won’t stand in the way of your choices. But please, take my advice where you can: invest in yourself — your career, your appearance, your social circles. And if a good friend comes into your life, try letting that friendship grow. When the time comes, you’ll find the answer in your own heart.
Today, that sister has walked into marriage with her true match. In the early days of their life together, all matters of finances and resources were handled without friction. What is rare — almost unheard of — is that the groom’s family actually felt they hadn’t given enough, which in turn made the bride’s family feel they hadn’t given enough either.
The reason is simple: when two people truly love each other, they inspire those around them to give wholeheartedly in return.
Not long ago, she reached out to thank me — for the clarity I once gave her about her life pattern (格局). As for that old relationship, she put it this way:
Only after tasting a truly good apple do you realize a rotten one was never worth a moment of your time.
I hope every one of you — brothers and sisters alike — takes something from this. [hug]