Among life’s many challenges, I’d rank finding a good romantic match somewhere around fifth or sixth in difficulty.
The advice below draws on esoteric wisdom, but if you study it carefully and truly absorb it, you’ll find — unless your destiny chart is exceptionally unusual — that a quality partner is well within reach in three years. Quite easily, in fact.
1. When you find yourself surrounded by people with terrible character, whose lifestyle choices and social skills leave much to be desired, the problem is probably not them — it’s that you’ve drifted into a social circle that doesn’t belong to you.
Many people spend their entire lives unable to understand why every partner they encounter turns out to have a rotten character. The root cause is simple: your own capabilities aren’t yet enough to buy you entry into a better pool of potential partners.
I know this sounds brutal. But it’s the truth.
2. Some people are surprisingly naive. They think that being reasonably attractive, knowing a bit of baking, cooking, travel, or flower arranging makes them competitive on the marriage market.
I’m sorry — I genuinely enjoy facilitating advantageous marriages, and I regularly introduce suitable partners to the children of friends around me.
But those so-called qualities? Utterly worthless. And frankly, anyone who leads with those things in conversation almost certainly has nothing more substantial to offer. They’re just scrambling for words to fill the gap.
3. In marriage, the two trump cards are: a reliable family of origin and a rational, sincere character.
Looking back at every advantageous marriage I’ve helped bring about, virtually all of them had both cards.
A reliable family of origin means your parents have a functional relationship — they don’t immediately strike people as difficult, off-putting, or impossible to deal with.
A rational, sincere character means you can sustain calm, steady communication over the long term. You can express your views gently. You don’t explode or fly into hysterics.
And yes — 99% of people don’t actually meet the standard of “rational and sincere,” yet are completely convinced they do.
4. Just below the trump cards are three strong cards: emotional value, reliable competence, and irresistible allure.
Emotional value means knowing how to make the other person feel genuinely comfortable and supported in your presence — from the right angle, at the right moment.
Reliable competence means handling work and everyday problems well enough that your partner can trust you completely, back turned.
Irresistible allure is exactly what it sounds like — making the other person feel a profound sense of desire and ease when they’re with you.
Again, these three strong cards are things most people believe they possess. In reality, most haven’t even come close.
5. I’ve written before about this: 99% of people struggling to find a partner are perfectly ordinary, normal people. The problem is simply that no one has ever stood in a truly neutral, objective, rational place and laid out their issues honestly.
You’re not unwilling to change. You just don’t know where you’ve gone wrong.
In many cases, a small adjustment — just a minor shift — and the romantic prospects come rushing in like water from a faucet that’s finally been turned on.
6. Here’s a particularly rare piece of esoteric wisdom.
In life, it’s often not about mastering some profound principle to turn everything around. It’s the opposite: spend time in the right circles, and the correct way to change will simply rub off on you.
For example: there was once a young woman whose older sister had a wonderfully happy marriage. The brother-in-law was just an ordinary, unremarkable office worker — but he was devoted and caring toward her sister.
Yet this young woman spent her days surrounded by a group of single friends — all of them marriage-averse, deeply suspicious and resistant toward the opposite sex.
But deep down, she longed for a good relationship. So she came to see me about her fortune (运势).
My answer was direct: “Your friends aren’t bad people. But none of them have succeeded at marriage — which means their views on the subject are, frankly, mostly wrong.”
“Your own sister, on the other hand, has exactly the kind of marriage you want. Like attracts like — so spend more time with your sister and brother-in-law outside of work. Ask your brother-in-law to introduce you to people he genuinely trusts.”
Trustworthy people tend to introduce trustworthy connections.
Two years later — happy news. And remarkably, it was love at first sight.
7. Finally, a few words from the heart — regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman:
When it comes to finding a good match, don’t just passively wait.
Look clearly and honestly at yourself — openly and bravely — and identify where you can improve. Don’t run from it.
Keep in regular contact with friends who have happy marriages and fulfilling lives. Ask them to introduce you to suitable people.
Stay emotionally transparent with the person you’re dating. Don’t harbor suspicion — express yourself. Don’t test them — communicate.
And don’t treat your partner as the source of the problem. Become teammates instead. Treat the problem as your shared opponent, and face it together.
Do all of this, and trust me — a good match won’t need to be hunted down. It will find you on its own.
And it will come quickly.