First, a reader’s letter:
Dear Master Chi, I am a young person who has been following you for two years. I’m reaching out because I’ve noticed that nearly every article you write about life touches on the topic of marriage.
I can’t help but wonder — is marriage really that important for a person?
To be honest, I’m a girl from Jiangxi making my way in Shanghai, and I’m absolutely the hardworking type. Beyond my day job, I’ve taken your guidance to heart: in the evenings I work on building my personal brand and take on small interior design projects. Life feels full and satisfying.
Yet in my office, I’m surrounded by women in their thirties and forties whose unanimous advice is: “A woman is better off never marrying, never having children — stay safe.” Most of them are single or divorced, which has planted deep seeds of doubt and fear in me about marriage. But when I genuinely ask them whether that choice has made them happy, all I get is a flood of emotionally charged opinions with no real substance.
So I sincerely want to consult you on this question. If you can answer it, I would be truly, deeply grateful.
— A young woman, striving hard but lost about marriage
To the young woman who is striving hard but lost about marriage:
On your question, I have two core pieces of advice to lay out clearly:
● Never, under any circumstances, take lessons from pessimists. The answers you’ll receive will be nothing but discouragement and negativity that corrupts your mindset.
● Marriage — for both men and women — is one of the most significant events in life. And when you find a true destined partner who genuinely loves you, the positive impact will benefit you for the rest of your life. On this point, there is no doubt.
Now let me walk through these two points step by step.
First, understand that human beings tend to cluster together based on shared race, language, background, and worldview. So any belief system, once it gains enough momentum, will naturally attract a following.
The “better off never marrying, never having children” narrative thrives among those who have been wounded by marriage or failed to find fulfillment within it. It pulls them together and crystallizes into a rigid, sharp-edged set of opinions. If you lack the capacity for independent thought, you will easily be drawn in through their gradual influence — until your own thinking hardens into the same mold.
Believe them, and you ruin yourself.
This isn’t hypothetical — I’ve seen it happen.
During the Chinese New Year of the Year of the Ox, a young woman came to me for a destiny chart (命盘) reading and announced right at the start that there was no need to look at her marriage prospects. She was terrified of marriage, convinced that all men were selfish oafs — cowardly, vile, and morally bankrupt. (I’ll admit, I felt a little awkward myself for a moment.)
She declared herself 1000% certain she would never consider marriage in this lifetime.
But when I opened her chart, the answer was immediately clear. Her first significant romantic relationship was a configuration of Tan Lang (Greedy Wolf) paired with Qing Yang (Goat Blade) — both stars in weakened positions. This pattern meant her first serious relationship would be defined by conflict, quarreling, and constant struggle.
I asked her to confirm. Sure enough — though they never married, those years of dating were absolute chaos. Every single day was either a war of words or an outright fight.
After that, she gathered around her a circle of friends who had also been hurt by love. Together, they catalogued the faults of men — their worthlessness, their cruelty, their cowardice, their cunning.
They even had a group chat called: “Never Marry, Never Conceive, Stay Young and Ethereal Forever.”
But here’s the thing — her destiny chart actually showed a second relationship, and a very good one: Tian Tong (Heavenly Harmony) paired with Tian Liang (Heavenly Pillar). In the context of her overall chart, this pairing would produce a deeply harmonious bond — warm, intimate, the kind of two-souls-as-one companionship that endures.
So I told her:
“I understand the pain of being hurt by someone you loved. I know that pain lingers for a long time — enough to make you fear the well after being bitten by a snake. But life is full of possibilities. Some things don’t work the first time but succeed the second. Or the third. I sincerely hope you come to understand that not all men are the same. There are vast differences between them — some brave, some timid, some unfaithful, some loyal. Some you should run from; others are genuinely worth cherishing. Since your destiny holds a relationship like this, why not give it a chance? I’m not asking you to leap in headfirst — just to at least taste the possibility.”
She held firm. Her mind was made up, she insisted — she would never again step foot in the world of romance. I half-expected her to announce she was entering a monastery.
What broke her resolve, in the end, was entirely unexpected.
The most committed anti-marriage member of her group — their self-styled Iron Abbess, the most zealously single among them — met a man she liked. She promptly fell headlong into love, got engaged, and went to register the marriage at full speed. The swiftness of her decision, the completeness of her reversal, left the entire “Never Marry, Never Conceive” group in stunned silence.
Then the Iron Abbess began posting daily couple photos and life updates on her social feed — and the young woman who’d come to see me started to waver.
Maybe marriage itself isn’t the problem. Maybe I just chose the wrong person back then?
What if… I try again?
And so, amid the turbulent year of 2022, this young woman overcame every obstacle and found the young man I had described — matching my prediction by 99%. They moved in together without a care in the world, and are planning their wedding for the second half of the year.
(The 1% discrepancy? He’d been stuck at home for several months during lockdown without any exercise, so his build came in about ten or fifteen pounds heavier than I’d described.)
So you see — people love to draw conclusions about marriage from their own experience, packaging them as universal truths that sound perfectly reasonable. But the one thing about marriage that never changes is this: when you meet the right person, in the right place, at the right time, that destined union will bring you genuine love and companionship.
And as it happens, that’s exactly what I specialize in — helping readers find that right person, in the right place, at the right time.
What I witness, therefore, is an abundance of truly successful marriages. The reason is simple: genuine compatibility.
In my personal view, I firmly believe that a quality marriage is never just about two people cohabitating without major conflict. Because everyone who has found love or their true destined partner through my work has received a harvest of both emotional fulfillment and material stability.
Some women made an upward match and quickly found their footing within the family — becoming a capable partner and the one who manages the household finances.
Some found true love — not wealthy by any measure, but deeply aligned in spirit, their souls intertwined, living each day in genuine joy.
Some found healing — their anxious, restless hearts finally settling into a long-absent peace and tranquility, warmed by a partner’s steadiness.
So when you ask me: Is marriage really that important?
My answer is: Of course it is. But only on the condition that you are not led astray by a toxic bond — and that you find your true destined partner.
Many people’s marriages fail simply because they chose the wrong person.
The result: the right partner is missed, precious years are wasted, and the entire trajectory of a life is thrown completely off course.
In plain terms — it’s a defeat born of disrespecting your own destiny, and of failing to understand what destiny is actually arranging for you.
But once you truly meet your destined partner, you will instantly understand: there really are people in this world who can harmonize with you so completely, so naturally — and capture your heart from the very first moment.
Finally — though I don’t have the time to analyze every reader’s destiny chart individually — I sincerely wish everyone the fortune of finding their true destined partner, and a life of happiness and fulfillment.
One additional note: when I analyze a chart, I have always made it a habit to conceal nothing. I will never speak only of good fortune while omitting hardship. Every blessing and every misfortune will be conveyed honestly — this has always been Master Chi’s way. Please mentally prepare yourself accordingly.