Recently, I sat down with family to watch a few episodes of a currently popular TV drama. I knew the content had been around for a while, but I still found myself cringing more with each episode.
The female lead’s relentless climb reminded me of a student who consistently scores 75 — painfully average — who somehow manages to compile a “study guide” and parade it as hard-earned wisdom. Forced confidence with nothing real behind it.
To be fair, that’s not the writer’s fault or the script’s problem. Times change, the rules of the game change, and everything upgrades accordingly.
I won’t dwell on it. Besides — I’ve never liked roses. Beautiful on the surface, hollow at the core.
What I’ve always believed is this: on Chinese soil, the flower that truly represents a powerful woman is the peony. Generous, resilient, beautiful — with just a touch of commanding authority.
Let me share a few core ideas. Each point runs fairly deep, so if you’re a younger woman who doesn’t quite follow right now, don’t be embarrassed. Give it a few years. When you’ve matured, you’ll understand.
1
In recent years, a lot of people have made a habit of endlessly repeating “the world is just a makeshift troupe” — congratulating themselves on their supposed insight like a modern Xianglin Sao (a classic literary figure known for repeating the same lament ad nauseam).
But here’s what they miss: because the world is a makeshift troupe, the vast majority of your competitors simply aren’t that formidable. Their perception, wisdom, endurance, drive, and stamina all carry predictable weak points.
So if you already know they’re not significantly stronger than you — take that understanding and convert it into ambition and hunger. Then put your head down and build your real capabilities.
2
When it comes to capability, many women fall into a serious trap: they read a few shallow palace-intrigue novels, pick up a handful of petty workplace tactics, and decide they now have “real power.”
I’ll be blunt — being the undefeated queen of cubicle drama gets you, at best, a minor promotion or a modest raise. It means nothing in the larger story of your life.
So what is genuine power?
Can you boldly excavate and activate the wealth veins written into your own destiny chart (命盘)? Can you clearly identify the right partner and draw them toward you?
Put simply: can you make serious money? Can you build a life worth living? Can you attract a partner with both integrity and ability? Can you build a circle where capable, loyal women stand alongside you in both business and life?
These are the true measures of a woman’s power.
3
Women who haven’t been truly humbled by the world generally can’t achieve real awakening (觉醒). And without that awakening, there is almost always a quiet, immature attachment hiding in their hearts — what I call the “best girlfriend complex.”
What is the best girlfriend complex?
Beyond family and romantic relationships, you feel you absolutely must have one close confidante as your primary emotional anchor. You tell her everything. You discuss everything with her. And for every major decision in your life — career, marriage, your future — you need her seal of approval.
Now, I’m a man — but I have guided more powerful women than I can count. And almost without exception, the very first thing each of them does after rising to a new level is immediately recalibrate her distance from her once-closest friend.
Why? Read this next line carefully, and see whether you can hear what’s actually being said:
“You’re so incredibly lucky — how do you always land such great opportunities? And that career, that boyfriend… if you keep going, where does that leave me? Honestly, I kind of hope you never surpass me. Let’s just be sisters forever, okay?”
4
Over the years, nearly every woman who has come to me for a destiny reading (命理) has placed romance and marriage at the absolute center of her life.
The married ones want to know if their marriage will hold. The unmarried ones want to know when love will arrive and what kind of person their partner will be.
I’ll say this plainly: in my BaZi (八字, Four Pillars of Destiny) readings, romance and marriage are always — always — a second-tier priority. For men and women alike, love matters, but it is never first.
What comes first?
First, we identify the right path forward for your life. Then we map out the wealth veins your destiny carries and learn how to command them.
As your standing in the world rises alongside your income, you’ll naturally come to see it: finding the right partner really, truly isn’t as difficult a problem as you once believed.
I once told a woman during an in-person destiny reading: if you can solve the hard problem of wealth through your own real capability — how could you possibly lack the ability to find love?
5
There is a certain type of woman who is almost comic in her self-defeat. She spends her days consuming “awakening” quotes and punchlines, accumulating a repertoire of sharp words and cutting comebacks, until she has transformed into a hedgehog — all quills, no warmth — keeping everyone at arm’s length.
Razor-sharp. Acid-tongued. Impossible to be around.
Yet in real life, beyond being “good at fighting,” she has built nothing of actual substance.
She wins every battle. But she loses life itself.
Some time ago, a prominent influencer on Xiaohongshu came for a reading, referred by a celebrity friend who is a regular client of mine. I got straight to the point:
Men and women are, biologically, two entirely different creatures. And accordingly, the social systems and evolutionary paths available to these two creatures are completely different.
A woman who truly has life pattern (格局) is always composed, always steady — and she approaches every aspect of her life as a chess player, not as a combatant.
She knows when to make a strategic retreat, when to sacrifice a pawn to protect the king, when to wait and observe, and when to move with urgency.
She also knows there is no single move that wins every game. Only flexible adaptation matters. Only the final outcome matters.
6
I can’t personally read the destiny chart of every woman who reads these words — and besides, getting time on my calendar is no easy matter.
But I want to leave every woman reading this with one thought:
My sister — however your life pattern and destiny stand right now, remember this: a woman is truly like a flower. However formidable you become, you cannot escape the growth path that nature has set for you.
When you are a seed — do not rush. Absorb nourishment slowly. Let yourself accumulate enough depth before you break through the soil.
When you are a seedling — do not fear the wind, the sun, the pests and the disruptions. These are the preludes that help you bloom. They are what make you stronger.
When you are a first bud — do not delay. When a good opportunity appears, show yourself. Don’t miss it. Don’t let the old, failure-minded thinking of “staying in the background” hold you back. Of all the great opportunities in this world, 30% go to those who wait — and 70% go to those who pursue.
When you are in full bloom — on the surface, be like a warm spring breeze: cultivate valuable relationships with generosity. But in your heart, be decisive and clear in your choices. Hold firmly to what serves you. Step away without hesitation from what harms you.
Walk each of these steps, one by one — and your life, like a flower, will surely bloom in full.