Never make the mistake of thinking that every person in this world deserves to have a family. In Master Chi’s view, at least 30% of people in this world are simply unfit for marriage. This group is meant to grow old alone — they do not deserve a family.
Nor should they harm and disappoint the innocent people who trusted them and had their lives wasted as a result. Among them are men and women, spread across every social tier and field. Their appearances vary, their temperaments differ — and some among them are even remarkably skilled at winning the affection and admiration of the opposite sex. But no matter how polished and impressive their exterior may be, they are destined to deliver the deepest wounds to the person who trusted, loved, and ultimately walked into marriage with them.
Today’s article, Master Chi writes for you. First, to help you avoid that terrifying 30%, so you don’t lose your whole life because of them. Second, if you’ve already been unfortunate enough to get entangled with one, I hope this article helps you see their true face sooner rather than later — and cut your losses in time. And if there’s any other hope for this piece, it’s this: that through today’s conversation, you’ll come to understand what kind of person in this world actually deserves your trust and lifelong companionship.
Straight to the point. The one and only answer: someone whose character is excellent — or at the very minimum, acceptable.
I’m sure when you read the word “character,” you’ll pause for a second, then laugh and think: who in this day and age still cares about something so quaint and impractical? But Master Chi will tell you plainly — the reason why people with real life experience, including Master Chi himself, can often make a clear judgment about someone’s reliability after just a brief interaction, is precisely because of a pair of eyes sharpened by years of navigating the world. And what those eyes see in an instant is whether this person has what it takes to be a husband or a wife.
Let me give you a recent example. Last month, a young woman came to Master Chi and specifically paid triple the usual consultation fee, wanting Master Chi to assess whether her new boyfriend was suitable for marriage.
Some context first: this young woman had previously had her life pattern (格局) read by Master Chi, and her marriage palace was extremely favorable — which naturally meant the men she encountered were of a high caliber, no question about it. The young man she brought that day had excellent credentials across the board — family background, personal qualities — placing him squarely at the top of what ordinary people can realistically encounter. They had also been together for over a year with a close emotional bond.
But in a simple, relaxed conversation, he repeated one particular point three times: “He hoped she would work on adapting to his family’s way of doing things, because his parents have a lot of rules.”
Without hesitation, Master Chi gave him a zero.
(Admittedly, incompatibility in their life patterns was also a factor.)
Many people might wonder — what’s wrong with saying that? Marriage is naturally a merging of two families, isn’t it? True enough. But the fatal mistake this young man made was failing to recognize that he is not only a son — he is also this young woman’s husband, and the future father of their children. Perhaps his words came from genuine concern, but they also revealed an attitude: “My parents have a lot of rules. You’ll need to adapt. I won’t be stepping in to stop them from managing you.”
The future is almost entirely predictable: this man will spend his life being a good son, but he will never become the kind of upright husband and father who stands tall and protects his wife and children. As a husband, his character scores a direct zero.
Let’s be direct — a man who cannot protect his own wife and carries no real weight in his own home, can he even be called a man?
So now, let’s talk about what Master Chi considers the character of a husband.
First, we must understand that as a man, it is simply part of the job — at many junctures — to shoulder responsibility, pressure, frustration, and misunderstanding. The only reason a real man willingly carries all of this is because he understands that he is a pillar of strength, not a pitiful weakling who needs to be coddled and reassured all day long.
More critically, he must understand that he is the foundation and anchor of a family, a woman, and children. Protecting his family and caring for them is simply the natural order of things — there is no excuse for complaint. Remember these words: the natural order of things, and simply as it should be.
He must be capable of bearing all pressure on his own shoulders, shielding his loved ones from the storms of life — never cowering before mere work pressure, never wearing a face of dread and retreat. He should always be grounded, sharp, and full of courage — boldly confronting every challenge life throws at him, and using every resource and ounce of wisdom at his disposal to relentlessly build a better life for his family.
Now yes — if we’re being purely logical and rational, today is an era of gender equality, and it’s entirely possible to work out a balanced, mutually contributing arrangement in a shared life. But — when one man says, “Stop overthinking. As long as I’m here, the sky won’t fall,” and another man says, “I paid 3,500 today — you get the next one?” — which man would you entrust your life to?
Why did audiences weep when Stephen Chow roared at Cecilia Cheung in The King of Comedy: “I’ll take care of you!”? Because that man was willing to be fully responsible, holding nothing back.
Yes — remember this, and never forget it: the man truly worth entrusting yourself to is like a wall and a mountain. No matter how enormous the problem, as long as he’s there, you never need to worry — even if he’s nothing more than an ordinary, unremarkable man.
He will absolutely not be some petty, calculating type who spends his days haggling over household trivialities with you. Sure, there’s nothing outrightly wrong with such a man. But the price of walking through life beside him is that you are destined to live a mediocre existence, plagued by his smallness — and worse, your children will model themselves after him, with their horizons and life pattern (格局) severely narrowed.
Now, by the same logic — what does Master Chi consider the character of a wife?
Equally simple: she fulfills the duties and devotion that come with being a wife. This means offering her family warm, generous care and love, possessing the magnanimity and grace of a true mistress of the household. And when her partner is exhausted and in need of support, she finds her own way to provide that strength — rather than standing at a distance, as if it’s none of her concern.
Why do women from middle- and lower-income families so often get looked down upon by wealthy mothers-in-law? Because such women — and often their entire families — believe that marrying a husband means securing a permanent meal ticket. They only know how to take, never to give. Of course they invite contempt and scorn. A household full of beggars.
At the same time, just as with men, women in marriage will inevitably face frustration and grievance that must be endured. And when that happens — is the right response to complain endlessly and use every friction point as an excuse for constant conflict?
Drop the martyred, small-minded act. A woman of real stature either finds a way to solve things herself, or sits down with her partner and has a direct, practical conversation about solutions and compromise. Spending your days in bitter complaint and self-pity not only drains the household’s energy — it also reveals that such a woman truly only deserves a place among the lowest tier.
What matters most is that iron-willed commitment to sharing in the family’s rise and fall together. To put it bluntly: If you never leave, I’ll stand by you through life and death.
Don’t think for a moment that everyone possesses such qualities. Master Chi has seen with his own eyes a husband who worked himself to the bone, suffered a setback — and his wife didn’t lift a finger to help, instead abandoning him and immediately moving to transfer assets.
In Master Chi’s eyes, a truly exceptional woman is never one who, after marrying well, spends her days indulging herself in leisure and pleasure. That kind of woman, in the circles Master Chi moves in, is looked down upon without exception — laughed at, unable to hold her head up.
A truly exceptional woman is one who, when her man is out conquering the world, is the one holding everything together at home — or better yet, stands shoulder-to-shoulder with him as an equal force. And if she chooses to return to the home, then under her management, everything runs with seamless precision: the social relationships among the wives of their circle, the arrangements of the household, the education of the children — all handled at the highest level.
That is the kind of woman truly worth marrying.
Now you might ask: can all of this really be assessed before marriage? After all, the dynamic of marriage is different from courtship.
Completely wrong. All of the above can be observed during the time you’re getting to know each other.
For example: if you’re the woman, and you notice during this period that the man tends to calculate and deliberate over money — that’s a very likely red flag. Why? When you genuinely like someone, what does a little material spending matter? It’s only when the feelings aren’t there that people start pinching pennies.
Don’t think Master Chi is being extreme. Only those with no real financial ability or ambition — the bottom-rung wage earners — will nickel-and-dime you. Once a man starts haggling, his life is basically written off. A man with a sharp mind absolutely does not think this way, because everyone understands how delicate the psychology of courtship is — the last thing you want is resentment taking root. Once resentment sprouts, the two of you will be sleeping in the same bed but dreaming different dreams, keeping up appearances while drifting apart — and any hope of a real marriage evaporates.
If you’re the man, during this same period you need to pay close attention to whether her care and concern for you is genuine, or purely perfunctory — whether she’s truly treating you as someone she treasures, or just going through the motions. These details show up across every aspect of daily life. If nothing else, one trip together will expose exactly who she is. If she’s the type who only wants to enjoy herself and expects you to wait on her the entire time — I’m sorry, but you’re looking for a life partner, not another grandmother to pamper.
So if you just use your head a little, you’ll realize that many failed marriages were already determined from the very first day the two people started spending time together.
Then why do so many people remain blind to this, making one wrong step after another until there’s no going back?
Because they don’t have the capability or standing to attract a better caliber of person — so the only people they encounter are at this level.
Yes — don’t think Master Chi’s constant pushing for you to climb higher is merely about money. It’s genuinely about helping you reach higher and higher levels so you can enjoy better and better things in every dimension of life.
That includes marriage.
Let me close with one final observation: the lower the social standing and net worth, the lower the overall character and quality of the people you’ll encounter there. You cannot expect someone raised in a household where dad spends every day at the mahjong parlor and mom spends every day brawling at the market stall to emerge with sound values. You can’t write them all off entirely, but the proportion with good character will inevitably be low.
Only as you gradually climb to the middle class and above does the quality of character and refinement begin to rise. Again, not universally — but the proportion keeps improving. And it’s often at that level that you’ll notice the word “upbringing” (家教) beginning to appear with increasing frequency.
So — never delude yourself into thinking you can find a gem at the bottom. That’s a one-in-a-hundred gamble, and if you lose, you’ve lost your entire life. Only by continuing to climb will the quality of the people you encounter keep rising.
And you — should be pursuing the very best.
Oh, and one more thing — having read this far, you’re probably thinking that Master Chi’s standards for “the character of a husband” and “the character of a wife” sound a bit idealistic?
Understandable. But do not let yourself be captured by that mistaken thinking.
Remember — there are many things in this world that are simply the natural order of things, beyond question and beyond argument, regardless of whether any logic or reasoning can explain them. As a man and a husband, as a woman and a mother — many things are simply what you should do. Why? Because if you are a person of excellent character, you should fulfill your role well. No excuses. It’s that simple.