Let me share a personal philosophy of mine: a truly intelligent person will have remarkable clarity when it comes to marriage.
Because if someone cannot see clearly or navigate something as basic as marriage, it means their values, worldview, and life philosophy all contain enormous blind spots.
That’s why they end up tormented and overwhelmed by the endless troubles that come with it.
I’ve always said: if you can’t get past the emotional hurdle, talking about wealth and success is pointless. This is exactly why.
Given everything I’ve been observing lately, I’d also like to share with you, my brothers and sisters, some of my personal thoughts on marriage and romantic destiny.
Not for any particular reason — only in the hope that you’ll understand these principles, so that in this small-yet-significant matter of marriage, you’ll make fewer mistakes, get taken advantage of less, and hurt less.
And that you’ll find your own reliable lifelong companion and build a happy union together.
1. Never rush into marriage with someone you “feel pretty good about” when you’re still inexperienced in the world — when you’ve barely met any potential partners and lack any real social experience.
I can say with full responsibility that the overwhelming majority of marriage tragedies arise from exactly this situation. A severe lack of social experience is extremely dangerous — it makes it far too easy to commit the fatal error of “treating garbage as treasure” or “mistaking impulse for true love.”
This is why, whenever a young person comes to me to have their life pattern (格局) and marriage destiny read — even if I can already see they’ll meet their true match four years from now — I still strongly urge them not to sit idle in the meantime. Go after the best potential partners you can realistically reach. Accumulate dating experience. Build up your understanding of how to be with another person.
2. In all honesty, when it comes to marriage, I firmly believe in the principle of matching social standing (门当户对). If you want your marriage to be happy, never be tempted by the idea of vaulting into a completely different class in a single bound.
The gap between you and your spouse should ideally stay within two social tiers — unless you have absolute confidence in your emotional intelligence, and that EQ advantage is something tangibly recognized and appreciated by the superiors and mentors around you in everyday life.
Let’s be frank: marriages that cross major class divides, once the initial passion fades, are overwhelmingly likely to become a long, grinding ordeal for the less-advantaged partner — years of swallowing bitterness like needles.
3. Over the years, many social climbers — those hoping to “marry up” — have come to me seeking destiny readings and marriage analysis after hearing of my abilities, directly asking me to introduce them to someone.
My answer is always: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can help with.”
Because in my experience, roughly 99% of social climbers are people with sharp instincts but poor judgment — the kind who can score small wins in the short term that make them feel smug, but who ultimately end up in total failure over the course of a full life.
Why?
Simple. Every little trick, every manipulation tactic, every calculated scheme can deceive someone temporarily — but none of it can truly fool a person forever.
So look at the self-proclaimed leaders in social-climbing communities: every single one of them is unhappily married, yet they still perform the role of someone who is “independent and thriving.”
From the perspective of traditional culture: why do social climbers perpetually keep chasing, never actually making it to shore, never finding a true home? Because everything they do in this process is fundamentally deceptive — fraud, manipulation, and con artistry — all of it shortsighted behavior that deeply depletes their own Chi fortune (气运).
4. Occasionally, some social climbers do achieve small results in a short time and gain brief recognition in their circle. But this never holds up under closer, longer observation — because given enough time, it’s almost always followed by all sorts of messy, scandalous drama.
To give a concrete example: some of the social climbers who come to me have already made a disaster of their lives — their reputation has collapsed, they’ve run out of options, and they come to me hoping for a way out.
All I can offer is a simple truth: good news rarely travels, but bad news travels a thousand miles. The most shortsighted thing about social climbers is that they completely fail to understand how small the circle of quality, marriage-ready people actually is. So if your behavior has been too ugly, the reality is this: by grabbing a few pieces of fruit from one tree, you’ve cut yourself off from an entire forest.
After that happens, there’s nothing I can do to rehabilitate the situation. The only path left is to abandon the circle you worked so hard to enter, accept a full downgrade, and seek a partner in a completely different, lower-tier world that has no connection to the previous one.
5. This, then, is the fundamental reason why social climbers almost universally end up with poor outcomes.
Simply put: they are far too consumed with short-sighted, predatory extraction — and completely blind to the deeper realities. That the circle of quality potential partners is very small. That a ruined reputation spreads with frightening speed. That a small sum of money is nothing compared to a lifetime of happiness. These are truths they simply cannot perceive.
6. That said, there is one thing about social climbers that my brothers and sisters are absolutely worth learning from: the spirit of taking the initiative.
I have long felt a sense of regret about this. There are, in fact, enormous numbers of genuinely good men and good women out there. So why don’t you meet them? Because you are simply too introverted, too understated, too honest and reserved. You have never treated “meeting quality potential partners” as a real, deliberate task to execute.
The result is that the current marriage ecosystem looks like this: good men and good women tend to be steady and grounded — they don’t seek out social expansion, and they don’t accumulate many romantic experiences. This opens the door for countless social climbers with ulterior motives to slip in.
Then the social climbers wound these good people’s genuine hearts, strip away what they can, and drag those good people into prolonged moral or legal disputes — leaving them with neither the energy nor the confidence to seek a new connection.
That is the dominant ecology of the marriage landscape today.
7. So even when sincere brothers and sisters come to me to have their life pattern and marriage destiny read, I always state two core pieces of advice clearly:
★ Never, never, never sit around passively waiting for your true match to show up. You must take the initiative — go out and engage with quality potential partners. Even just being friends, having casual conversations, attending social gatherings — these are things you absolutely must be doing.
Never listen to the advice of those with poor judgment who tell you “when the time is right, your true match will find you on their own.” That is foolishness — it’s like saying that because you have a good wealth fortune cycle (财运) one year, you can lie in bed at home and still get rich. Completely impossible.
★ You must stay far away from people who are unhappily married and who constantly talk about gender warfare or share shadowy “social climbing tactics.” These people carry terrible luck — just as you’d stay away from con artists if you’re running a legitimate business, simply to avoid getting splattered with their filth one day.
Make a point of spending time with friends who view marriage sincerely, who are willing to offer genuine love and real effort to their partner, and whose married lives are relatively happy.
Like attracts like — the potential partners you encounter through them will tend to be more reliable, grounded, and sincere. These are timeless truths.
8. There is one more point that is extremely important, and you must keep it firmly in mind: for someone to truly walk through life with you, what matters most is that their core qualities score high enough. If those core dimensions are strong, then any small imperfections simply don’t matter.
Conversely — never be so dazzled by someone’s surface-level sparkle that you overlook weak core qualities. That is the most dangerous mistake you can make.
So what are the core qualities that truly matter in a marriage partner?
The spirit of cooperation — a genuine willingness to build a home together with you. Basic human decency — the capacity to recognize and appreciate your effort and sincerity. And grounded, practical ambition.
These three things alone are the most essential criteria.
Without these three, no matter how many other attractive qualities someone has, they are only suited for brief romance — not a lasting marriage.
Remember this. Remember this. Remember this.
9. If you have even a basic grounding in traditional culture, you’ll understand: in one lifetime, a person will encounter at least one or two true matches.
But the prerequisite is that you must have a clear enough understanding of your own life pattern (格局), and a general sense of what the right person for you looks like. Only then can you avoid missing that connection when it arrives.
Otherwise, you truly can miss it and let it slip away.
Like last year, when a woman approaching middle age came specifically to have her marriage destiny read. After I described the characteristics of her ideal match, she suddenly lit up: “So it’s him?! No wonder we’ve always worked so well together! I just never thought of it that way before!”
And this year, that same woman came back to see me — this time to ask me to help choose an auspicious date for their wedding.