Recently, two events have sent significant ripples through the hearts and minds of women — the film The Vanishing of Her and the passing of singer Coco Lee. Both powerfully reflect how toxic relationships (孽缘) can damage and drain an entire life. I myself have witnessed events far worse than these with my own eyes.
And yet, I hope you understand: in this world, all things carry both darkness and light. A cautionary tale should be taken to heart as a warning — not used as an excuse to flee from life altogether.
There are still countless women in this world living in beautiful marriages and fulfilling lives. What I hope you will study and learn from are these successful examples.
Over the years, I have served as a Chinese metaphysics advisor for certain families and performing artists in the Jiangnan region, so I have participated in and guided many important matters of marriage and destiny. My personal conclusion is this: the secret of every woman who married well lies in choosing a partner who excels at taking on family responsibility.
Follow this one principle alone, and the probability of a happy marriage rises directly to 90% or higher.
Many women are naive — and emotional. They always feel that love is the supreme priority above all else. Any woman with even a little life experience, upon hearing this belief, would laugh and then look on with pity.
What these women fail to realize is that over the long course of life, love is what fades the fastest. What truly sustains a lasting, harmonious marriage and a happy, healthy family has always been — and will always be — a sense of responsibility.
A man with genuine responsibility: even when the passion of love has long dimmed, he will still fulfill his duty in the roles he holds. As a husband, he will shelter you from wind and rain. As a father, he will give his children attentive guidance and education. Where responsibility lives, all of this lives too. And responsibility, once a man truly possesses it, tends to last a lifetime — far more dependable than the fires of romance.
There are also women who are simply shallow. They believe that a man’s wealth, talent, looks, or intelligence constitute his core value. I’m sorry, but while all of these are genuinely good supplementary qualities, none of them are core value. In the early stages of courtship and marriage, yes — these qualities will bring you great pleasure and pride. But over time, without responsibility as the foundation, every one of these qualities becomes capital he uses to hurt you.
Go back and examine the stories of unhappily married women around you. You will find that in the early days of their relationships, they were all enthusiastic about broadcasting: my boyfriend is so sweet, so accomplished, so good-looking. They would blow completely trivial gestures into grand declarations — he peels shrimp for me, he brings me late-night snacks. And so they were charmed by small things. Then after marriage, the real problems surfaced all at once.
Are they pitiful? Pitiful — and foolish, too.
Come on. What era are we living in? To still hold such an outdated framework when it comes to the most consequential decision of your life?
In short, there is no secret to a quality marriage. You only need, from the very beginning, to focus your energy on one question: does this man carry a strong sense of responsibility? Once this core value is confirmed, any number of small flaws that follow can be corrected and grown through — and the rest of your life will naturally flow with ease.
It really is that simple.
I also want to say this: I have occasionally encountered women who, wherever they go, act impulsively — clicking, adding, joining without reading a single word of the details in front of them. Honestly, this type of woman tends to be restless and emotionally reactive by nature, which is precisely how she developed the bad habit of reaching for anything that catches her eye without thinking first.
This is actually deeply damaging to one’s fortune cycle (运势). A life filled with chaos and disorder is often a life that has absorbed chaos carelessly, one impulsive click at a time.
I hope you are not like them. I hope you approach every choice with care and deliberateness — just as I, when analyzing your marriage prospects and destiny chart (命盘), bring the same seriousness, thoroughness, and responsibility to laying out the full causes and consequences of every major life matter, and to crafting for you the most complete and considered life arrangement I am able to provide.