Prelude: How long has it been since you last heard these words?
“A man should take responsibility and cherish his wife.” “A woman should also learn understanding and care for her husband.”
Now tell me — how long has it been since you last heard these words instead?
“Women these days are so selfish — shallow and ignorant!” “Men these days are so shameless — calculating and petty!”
If you’ve made it this far, you probably know what Master Chi is getting at. Of course — a word of thanks to those unscrupulous writers who stoke and inflame gender conflict. Thank you for so successfully warping the values and logic of this era, and for becoming the root cause behind the collapse of countless families.
Main Article:
Alright, that introduction was sarcastic — because Master Chi genuinely despises the media outlets that deliberately fan the flames of gender antagonism.
Because of them, many adults in our time have begun to develop extreme and skewed worldviews.
As Master Chi has always said, ordinary people are remarkably naive and immature. They will wholeheartedly believe the most radical opinions, as long as those opinions align with their emotions.
Young people between twenty and thirty-five are especially vulnerable — worn down, article by article, by pieces like “A Guide to Classifying Garbage Boyfriends” and “Spot the Signs — This Is How Terrible Women Behave.”
The result, naturally, is that readers lose any desire for self-reflection or growth. They become permanently convinced that they are the most innocent, the most pitiable, the ones who have been wronged and hurt — that every person they meet is trash.
Sometimes, Master Chi can’t help but want to ask: “How can your luck possibly be this good — that you’ve managed to run into every piece of scum in the entire world?”
Worse still, there are couples who start off perfectly fine in the early days of marriage, but gradually one or both of them gets poisoned by public opinion, their minds thoroughly corrupted. In the end, the partner who should have been their greatest ally becomes, in their imagination, the greatest enemy of their life.
The greatest tragedy in a marriage is when the man forgets to cherish, and the woman forgets to understand.
The result is that partners who should have built each other up become enemies who resent one another.
And yet, marriage should never be this way. Because in Master Chi’s view, marriage is something extraordinarily beautiful and fulfilling — regardless of wealth or social standing.
What it represents is this: you have found someone you can entrust your whole self to, and a place you can truly call home.
So Master Chi wants to talk with you about what the true meaning of marriage really is — and for men and women, that meaning may have two entirely different answers.
The Meaning of Marriage
For a man, the meaning of marriage is this: it gives him a reason to strive, and it gives him a road to come home on.
No matter how many people preach about how free and wonderful single life is, no matter how many people claim that marriage is a cage that suppresses human nature — only a family can allow a man, after fighting his battles in the outside world, to come home like a weary animal and lie peacefully in his own bed, resting and recovering.
It’s Saturday morning. You’re woken again by the clatter of housework — you’ve told her how many times, when you’re sleeping, close the bedroom door. You’re just about to get up when that sticky, skull-deep ache from last night’s drinking puts you firmly back down. Those guys got you drinking too much again — the baijiu was manageable, but then the red wine came out, and that was the end of it.
You’re still lying there thinking about it when she pushes the door open, bringing in a draft of fresh air from the hallway. And before you can say anything, she’s already on you:
“I’m telling you straight — you keep drinking like this, you might as well drop dead out there.”
Then a glass of warm water and an aspirin land on the nightstand.
You don’t bother arguing. Say too much and it turns into a fight. What does she know about how exhausting it is out there — the constant entertaining, the obligations? Isn’t it all for the money? Isn’t it all to keep this household running?
You don’t dignify it with a response. You roll to your side and pick up the glass. The warmth is almost too hot to hold — but it’s your favorite temperature, the temperature she has gotten exactly right every single time since the day you were married.
You’re about to swallow the aspirin when you inhale wrong and a sharp, acrid sensation shoots straight up your nasal passage. You start coughing uncontrollably.
And then — that hand, gently patting your back.
You catch the familiar scent: the clean smell of laundered clothes and the body wash she always uses, blended together. Like some kind of sedative.
“This must be what home smells like,” you think.
You watch this woman carry the empty glass out of the room and softly pull the door shut behind her.
You notice that she’s already in her late thirties or forties now. Even the best skincare can’t fully hold back the faint lines on her face.
But you know — as long as she’s here, you can give yourself over to the night, to the drinks and laughter and company out in the city.
Because when your friends bring you home, those hands will always receive you like a child — cleaning up the mess, helping you lie down properly in bed.
For a woman, the meaning of marriage is having a source of quiet strength — and a safe place to be vulnerable.
Women, in many ways, are capable of outperforming men. And yet, they still long for a shoulder to lean on, someone they can speak their heart to.
And this, too, is something only marriage can offer.
When things go wrong at work or in life, you turn to your girlfriends. They’ll offer a bit of comfort when they hear about your frustrations — but before long, the conversation drifts to their own daily concerns.
And somehow, the one who came needing comfort ends up comforting everyone else.
Then your gaze lands on him — that hopeless man. No financial firepower like other women’s husbands, no real ambition, no emotional fluency. Dull. Rigid. No obvious future to speak of.
But he’s the one person you can actually complain to.
You feel a flicker of resentment. With your intelligence and your looks, you should have found someone better.
So at dinner, between bites, you let it all out — every grievance you’ve been carrying. Why the release? Because woven into each sentence is a subtle attempt to hold him responsible: if he were richer, if he were more capable, if he were more impressive — all of this current misery could be solved with money.
He responds in his half-hearted way, which only adds fuel to your frustration.
But then, something unexpected: that night in bed, his hand rests on your waist. You expect it to go somewhere — but there’s only silence, and then sleep.
What a waste, you think. To have spent your best years on this man.
The next morning, as you’re heading out the door for work, he looks up from his breakfast — soy milk and a fried dough stick — and says something that catches you off guard:
“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to go. Stay home and rest.”
The same old bluntness. No poetry to it.
You snap back without thinking: “On what you earn? You think that’s enough to keep this family going?”
But walking to the office, you find yourself thinking — he’s really no different from anyone else. Just one among the countless ordinary people in this world.
He doesn’t have extraordinary talent or exceptional ability. But in his own quiet way, he has always been looking out for you, caring for you.
He understands more than he lets on. It’s just that while his wings are still growing, he doesn’t want to give you too many reasons for disappointment. So silence — perhaps — is the best answer he has.
And honestly, you never truly placed all your hopes in him. What you’ve needed, really, is just someone who will genuinely listen when you need to talk, when you need to complain. Someone who, when you feel alone and lost, will give you enough warmth to carry on.
That person, it turns out, has been beside you all along.
With that said, Master Chi wants to share something that happened three days ago.
A couple — both artists — came to consult Master Chi separately about their individual futures. Why separately? Because they had been referred by a mutual friend of Master Chi’s, and given the unhappiness in their marriage, each had decided to ask about their own future, independent of the other.
This led to a rather amusing situation: the husband arranged to meet Master Chi at three in the afternoon on the Pudong side of the river, while the wife arranged to meet at seven in the evening on the Puxi side. One day, one river, two banks — a complete tour of the Shanghai skyline thrown in along the way. Not without its charm.
Even more striking: both of them, in their separate consultations, asked the exact same two questions.
First question: Can this marriage of ours go on?
Second question: If it can’t — what kind of person will my next partner be?
Without getting into the specifics of their destiny readings (out of respect for privacy), Master Chi’s answer can be shared: “Your bond can absolutely continue — because the partner you have right now is already your new beginning.”
Why did Master Chi give this answer?
Because the truth is, the vast majority of couples today don’t fall apart because their connection has run its course.
They fall apart because they’ve forgotten what they owe each other — and only remember what they’re owed.
All they truly need is the right moment to press reset — to return to the love they carried at the beginning, and offer it to each other once more. When they do, they will naturally come to see: the best connection was never lost. It has been there all along, right beside them, never once leaving.