Today is Mother’s Day. Seeing countless articles of gratitude and reminiscence filling my feed, I thought I’d take a different angle and talk about this woman who has meant the most to my life.
Let me share the invaluable life lessons she taught me as I was growing up — wisdom that has benefited me ever since, and that I firmly believe remains just as relevant and timeless today as it ever was.
The First Lesson: Always Stay Optimistic
By now I’ve written quite a few articles here, and I’ve shared enough about my background for a reasonable picture to emerge. To put it simply: I was fortunate to be born into a fairly prosperous family, which gave me a broad perspective and rich experiences from an early age. But like everything in this world, what rises must also fall — the more affluent a family, the more it tends to go through. I’ve lost count of how many times my mother stepped forward to become the pillar of the household, the one who made the calls when things got difficult. But one thing left the deepest impression on me: no matter how fierce the winds or how high the waves, my mother’s face never — not for a single half-second — showed any trace of panic.
Years later, I asked her what was going through her mind during those hardships. Here is what she told me:
“Son, there is always a way out. No matter how great the trial, there will come a day when it passes, and there is always a way to handle it. Ask yourself clearly: does panicking, losing your head, or crying your eyes out help? No. Then don’t waste time on it. Set everything else aside, calm your mind, and think about how to deal with it. You will find a way. Even if the answer doesn’t come immediately, you’ll inch closer to it through the searching. And once you’ve hit rock bottom, every step you take from there is a step back up — so never let trouble throw you into a panic. Keep a steady heart. Life is just a long series of problems that fate puts in front of you, one after another.”
These words became the secret that carried me through the long stretches of adversity in my life — and eventually led me to where I am today, and to you. I offer them to you now.
The Second Lesson: Know How to Conduct Yourself
No matter how well my parents’ business did at its peak, they were fundamentally a husband-and-wife operation. My father handled execution and on-the-ground work; my mother managed day-to-day affairs and filled in the gaps. Though the family fortunes have been worn down somewhat by time, the foundation still holds — we’re comfortable enough. And much of that is owed to the support of friends along the way, which is largely my mother’s doing.
In how she carried herself, she followed a few core principles: first, be forgiving when you can; second, be willing to help others in their darkest moments; third, build goodwill broadly.
Be forgiving when you can — whenever a conflict arose, even when the other party was clearly in the wrong, she would go out of her way to smooth things over. As the saying goes, a smiling face is hard to strike. Even the sharpest disagreements can dissolve under a gentle, gracious approach.
Help in times of need — whenever someone was in trouble, she never looked away. A small sum here, a bit of support there — nothing was too much trouble. She would also draw on her own connections to help others find a path out of their crisis.
Build goodwill broadly — simply put, if something could make two or three people wealthy together, she would never try to keep it all for herself. Of course, she would assess a person’s character before going into partnership — but the aim was always for everyone to prosper together over the long run.
A great leader once said: keep your enemies few, and your friends many. My mother truly lived this — far more naturally than my father. Not because he lacked intelligence, but because the work of building connections and goodwill often comes more naturally to women.
The lesson I took from all this: don’t avoid trouble when it comes, but don’t go looking for it either. Handle conflict with as much warmth and goodwill as possible, and look for ways to benefit the people around you. When those around you share your interests and want to see you succeed — how often, then, will anyone try to kick you while you’re down?
The Third Lesson: Respect the Timing of Fortune
“Life is like simmering broth — moment to moment it looks the same, but the difference between one hour and the next is everything.”
This is perhaps the truest reflection of my mother’s life philosophy, and the heart of the values I was raised with. It shaped my disposition: unhurried in all things, unafraid of waiting, never anxious about winning or losing in the short term.
My mother was never a person given to frantic urgency. On the contrary, she was steady and patient by nature. She would do what needed to be done, then let things unfold — and the results were rarely disappointing. Constant restless rushing, on the other hand, tends to backfire.
So many things in this world truly are like simmering broth. Even with all the right ingredients assembled, without sufficient time over the flame, nothing will come to fruition. So no matter how pressing the matter, please — don’t rush. First ask yourself: have you done the preparation? Have you attended to the details? If everything is in place, the rest can be left to time. Not a moment’s worry is needed.
Of course, if you choose to invest in yourself further — to cultivate your character and deepen your inner life — that will naturally raise the odds of success in everything you pursue.
This applies equally to the women who worry about romance fortune (桃花运) and the men who pour themselves into their careers.
Sometimes people come to me for a destiny reading, and even from their words alone I can feel the urgency radiating from them. When will I make real money — and fast? When will my career finally take off — and soon? When will I find the right person — now?
I always work carefully through their life pattern (格局) while gently settling their minds: Have you done the preparation? Are you truly ready? If everything is in order, then rest easy. When the time fate has arranged arrives, everything will quietly fall into place — no forcing required at all.