When you think of Zou Shiming and Ran Yingying, what comes to mind? For most people, the biggest talking point about this couple is the former Olympic boxing champion’s humiliating defeat at the hands of a Japanese delivery-boy-turned-fighter — a loss born of complacency and underestimation. Stories like these spread fast, because nothing captivates the public quite like watching yesterday’s success story crumble. And if there’s another dimension to public opinion, it mostly consists of attacks and criticism directed at his wife, Ran Yingying. Yes — she has an overdone internet-celebrity face; she lacks taste; she’s greedy and materialistic. She even had the audacity to tear up their management contract without understanding how the sports industry works, then personally arranged the fight that ended her husband’s career. For a time, the couple became a national punchline, with Ran Yingying bearing the brunt of everyone’s contempt.
Master Chi was no exception. After watching this series of events unfold, I too found myself developing a certain disdain for this woman.
But yesterday, I happened to come across a short clip about them — and she moved me. In that moment, I finally understood why Zou Shiming, after everything they had been through, still loves her deeply.
Because this woman — the one we had all imagined to be crass and vulgar — said something to her child when she caught him wasting food:
“Sweetheart, we can’t waste food. Because everything in this family was earned by your father, one punch at a time.”
Speaking from the heart: that line moved me. Not because of her parenting approach, but because of the pure love and gratitude behind those words.
The truth is, in any family, whoever makes sacrifices for the household — man or woman — is simply doing what they ought to do. It’s basic responsibility, plain and simple. And yet how often do we actually see someone feel genuinely moved by their partner’s efforts? Rarely. Almost never. Vanishingly rare.
More often, most people take their partner’s contributions entirely for granted. What they don’t realize is that marriage is a subject you learn as you go. No one enters a marriage and glides through to the end without turbulence. So when problems arise, that’s your opportunity to grow and improve — not your excuse to swap out your partner.
Take most men, for instance. They come home and never truly appreciate or empathize with their wife’s labor around the house. Their internal logic goes: I earn the money, I support this family — it’s only natural that she handles the housework when I’m not working. What they don’t see is that their wife often carries no less work pressure than they do, and on top of that, domestic labor is an energy drain that never stops. When it comes to sheer contribution to the household, women give just as much — if not more.
And then there are many women who contribute nothing to the family — draining their parents dry, then turning to devour their husband’s efforts — yet have been brainwashed by a certain strand of shallow feminism into believing that women should always put themselves first, that men should shoulder all the burdens, and that they themselves owe nothing in return. What they don’t see is that their husbands are not fools. Years of poor judgment and present helplessness may force them to endure — but the moment they find their footing, the odds are high they’ll walk out the door and not look back.
This is the nature of our era: everyone thinks they’re sharp. People reduce life to a ledger, calculating gains and losses at every turn. But that’s not true cleverness — it’s mere cunning.
Because when both sides grow calculating, each begins to build a wall, and each begins plotting retaliation and self-defense.
Countless marriages have died this way.
Sometimes, when I’m reading a destiny chart for a seeker — especially when I’m explaining the right match and the right timing to younger seekers — I always add this age-old reminder: The art of managing a marriage has its place, yes. But the heart that loves and protects your partner is what truly matters. And most important of all: from the moment two people decide to walk through life together, each must step up and carry their own weight.
Remember this: whether marriage becomes a blessing or a burden is entirely in your own hands. The choice belongs to you — not to your partner. And your responsibility isn’t simply to fulfill your share of the “giving.” It’s to keep offering your love to the person beside you — continuously, steadily, over a lifetime.
If you’ve seen enough couples, you’ll notice their common failure: gratitude and acknowledgment are almost never present. Neither are praise and understanding. Whatever you do, don’t follow their example. Even when your partner’s effort is completely ordinary, don’t withhold your appreciation. Let them know that you see their struggles — that their quiet labor hasn’t gone unnoticed.
And from time to time, offer a few tender words. Even between long-married couples, it may feel awkward to say them aloud — but that’s exactly why it matters. It tells your partner: I still care. I still cherish you. I still love you.
Trust me — over time, ice melts and snow thaws on its own.
Of course, some people will protest: “I’ve already made the effort, and my partner still doesn’t respond.” In truth, that’s not quite right. Your partner isn’t incapable of change — they just won’t change immediately.
Yes, in the early stages of a relationship, it’s reasonable to use a little strategy to protect your own comfort and security. But in the bigger picture, be clear about this: the person in front of you is not your subject for exploitation or your personal possession. Everything between you should be grounded in that most ordinary of emotions — love.
Look: your other half may not be perfect. They may be quite ordinary. They may even have flaws and shortcomings that baffle you. But since fate has brought the two of you together, do what you can to tend to this marriage and protect this love.
Know this: husband and wife are each other’s mirrors. Your intentions — even unspoken — will be felt. And gradually, the two of you will grow to reflect each other.
Don’t ask why your wife is always subdued and distant, why she shows you no warmth. Ask yourself whether you’ve been the kind of husband who gives her security and a shoulder to lean on.
Don’t complain that your husband spends all his time in idle pleasures and doesn’t know how to be thoughtful. Ask yourself whether you’ve been the kind of wife who gives him support and recognition.
Don’t be rigid, and don’t be petty. Life is something the two of you share — but it’s also something you each experience alone, every single day. Someone always has to take the first step; only then can the other find their footing and follow.
Do you still remember the intention you carried when you first joined hands?
Through wind and rain, you and I — for a lifetime, walking forward together, never to part.
Finally, here’s a universal phrase you should use often:
“You know what, you’re right. I should listen to you this time. Let’s do it your way.”