Student Question
Hello, Master. My husband and I have been together for eight years. Just a few days ago, I confirmed that he has been unfaithful — there were even photos of the two of them together. Since the very day I first began to suspect him, the thought of divorce has crossed my mind countless times. I am now 24 weeks pregnant, and we already have a three-year-old child. Friends are urging me to tell my parents. Honestly, I don’t know what to do.
Master Chi’s Response
First — discovering and confirming that your husband has cheated is, for any woman, a bolt from the blue.
It creates a fundamental crisis of trust between you.
It will also cause you to call everything into question — the love, the marriage, all the years you shared together.
Second — what you must do right now is turn inward. Ask yourself honestly: do you still love him? Do you still want this marriage?
Do not rush to confront him. Communication driven by impulse will only pour fuel on the fire.
Do not immediately tell family or friends, either — and do not act on the advice of well-meaning busybodies whose opinions will only cloud your judgment.
Third — once you have assessed things with a clear head, if you find that love is gone, or that even if some feeling remains you simply cannot accept what he has done, then divorce is the painful but necessary choice.
At that point, to protect your own rights and minimize harm to yourself and your children, focus on gathering evidence that works in your favor.
Fourth — if you still love him and still want to save this marriage, then the first battle you must win is the one inside yourself. Avoid making decisions in moments of emotional surge. Use both genuine feeling and clear-headed wisdom to fight for your marriage.
Fifth — infidelity generally falls into three categories. The first is seeking outside compensation for unmet needs within the marriage. The second is malicious infidelity with the deliberate aim of destroying the marriage. The third is a fundamentally wayward nature — an inherent lack of self-discipline.