Student Question
Master Chi, hello. I’m a woman in my 30s who built everything through my own effort. I caught the right wave at the right time, and with all my mortgages fully paid off, I still have eight-figure savings in the bank.
I come from an urban middle-class family. My parents will also leave me a considerable amount of money and assets. Combined with what I’ve earned myself, the total is quite substantial. Even on my own, I could live very comfortably here in China.
When it comes to marriage, here’s how I see it: under normal circumstances, I’d prefer not to register the marriage — just have children together, with each party’s assets and finances kept completely separate. If the other person is at my level or above, and has genuine integrity, I could consider making it official. We’d agree beforehand on a fixed household contribution, and all pre-marital assets would remain individually owned. That seems fair to both parties.
At the end of the day, marriage just comes down to a financial ledger. I find that rather meaningless.
I could also choose to register the marriage overseas, so that if things ever fall apart, the overseas registration wouldn’t have any claim on the money and assets I’ve built in China.
People with some money and assets in China today think about this quite openly. Childbearing and marriage are no longer sold as a bundle. Wealthy people choosing not to register while co-parenting — that’s actually a sensible arrangement, a kind of progress.
Without a marriage certificate, the pool of potential partners is wider and you’re freer. No need to worry about someone using that piece of paper to come after your assets in a divorce.
Many of the first-generation entrepreneurs around me who’ve reached the A8 level and beyond — I’ve discussed this with them — and they’ve mostly landed on the same solution: generally no registration. Just co-parent and co-raise the child.
Registering would only make sense if I found a partner with a truly good heart, solid character, sound judgment, a genuine belief in marriage, and real love to offer. If things couldn’t be made to work even then, we’d both accept the outcome. Or if the two of us were financially equal, aligned in values and worldview, with a shared vision — if we could genuinely build a long-term partnership — then registration would also be on the table.
My confidence in intimate relationships is really just my confidence in the world. I still hope to find a good partner and build a real family life together.
Master Chi, what do you make of my thinking?
Master Chi’s Response
The wealthy men and women I’ve worked with over the years — those with real money and assets — almost all think and act exactly the way you’re describing. No registration, just children. Like you said, it’s a kind of progress.
Just recently, a first-generation entrepreneur earning several million a year came to me and said he’d already worked it out with his wife: once the child is born, they’d file for divorce. Keep the money and assets separated. He’d have a will drawn up, with everything going to the child in the end. Day to day, they’d still function as a family — he wouldn’t shortchange the child or the mother.
So as someone becomes increasingly wealthy — man or woman — they generally stop wanting to register the marriage.
For ordinary people, it’s different. Without much money to speak of, most of what they build is marital property anyway, so registration still makes sense. They co-support the household and raise the children together, and whatever they’ve built jointly eventually goes to the kids.