Wenwen is the younger sister of one of my closest friends. When we first met, it happened to coincide exactly with her graduation from university.
To pave a good path for his little sister, my friend specifically asked me for a favor — to help Wenwen find a solid career opportunity in Shanghai.
A trusted friend’s request is not something I could ignore.
Once I learned that Wenwen had a background in finance, I immediately reached into my network and found her a remarkable opportunity: a position as assistant secretary at a family office.
The reason I arranged for her to join this particular family office was straightforward — I wanted to set her up for the best possible future. The principals running this family office had previously held senior leadership roles at one of Shanghai’s top foreign investment banks, covering Greater China. Their core clients were billion-yuan-plus family enterprises across the Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai region.
The assistant secretary role would give her frequent, direct exposure to clients of this caliber — handling asset arrangements and execution on their behalf. Demanding, yes. But the returns in income, perspective, and connections would be enormous.
Without exaggeration, if this opportunity had been offered to any woman graduating from a top Chinese university, it would have been a once-in-a-lifetime launchpad.
But after two days of consideration, Wenwen replied with the following message:
“Dear Master Chi, thank you so much for arranging this opportunity, and for taking my brother’s request so seriously. That said, after careful thought, I’ve decided to respectfully decline the family office position. The demanding schedule and frequent travel would make it impossible for me to properly nurture my relationship with my boyfriend over the next three years — our wedding preparations and plans would suffer as a result. My boyfriend also feels that constantly being around wealthy families would make me increasingly materialistic, and gradually pull my character in the wrong direction. That’s simply not the life I want. I hope you understand. Thank you.”
I’ll be honest — I was a little stunned after reading that. Every word was clear, and yet none of it made sense to me.
A little while later, I asked my friend: was Wenwen’s boyfriend a phoenix man?
Fifteen minutes later, he replied: “Yeah~”
With that single word, everything fell into place.
Some time ago, my friend and I were collaborating on a project, so we’d been having dinner together regularly in the evenings. One night, Wenwen found out and came to join us on her own.
The restaurant, to be fair, served exceptionally fine Shanghainese cuisine — but Wenwen cried several times throughout the meal, leaving the two of us men too awkward to even lift our chopsticks.
It turned out that the moment her boyfriend learned of this opportunity, his expression darkened immediately, and he made his displeasure known in a measured but unmistakable way.
His reasoning, as already mentioned: yes, the pay was good and the prospects were excellent — but what if Wenwen broadened her horizons and flew away? And if she absorbed the values of that world day after day, what if she eventually started looking down on him? What about their relationship? Their future marriage? Hadn’t they promised to grow together side by side? If she shot ahead overnight, what did that say about their vow?
Hearing all this, Wenwen’s heart softened. Of course. What was career advancement compared to genuine love? How could she be so selfish as to chase her own ambitions at the expense of her boyfriend’s feelings?
So Wenwen ended up choosing a small, unremarkable financial firm close to their rented apartment. She’d finish her basic tasks for the day, then rush home to buy groceries and cook for her boyfriend — the picture of a gentle, devoted partner, full of hope for their future life together.
With such a warm and reliable home base behind him, Wenwen’s boyfriend did indeed make something of himself. In five years, he climbed to a minor leadership position at a second-tier securities firm.
But that’s when the tide turned.
He started coming home less and less for dinner. He began criticizing and micromanaging Wenwen’s career, his words laced with mockery and contempt. Wenwen endured it in silence — because his monthly salary had reached thirty-plus thousand yuan, while hers was only seven or eight thousand. Materially speaking, he was carrying more of the weight.
Then one day, during an argument, he slipped up. “You should really learn from Xiaoxue,” he spat. “At your level, do you even have the right to question me?”
Xiaoxue was a colleague of his — same rank, working closely together. Their voice messages and texts had long carried an unmistakable warmth and intimacy that was difficult to explain away.
However naive Wenwen had been, she finally understood. Everything she had quietly dreamed of had fallen apart without a sound.
That year, Wenwen woke up to a devastating reality: she was already 28. She had let this relationship consume the best years of her life. Too late. Too slow. Too naive.
At dinner that night, she looked at me with quiet shame and asked if there was any chance — any chance at all — of getting another shot at a good platform.
All I could do was let out a soft sigh, and tell her honestly about the current environment, the level of competition, and the simple truth that some opportunities, once missed, never come back.
That’s just how life is. Some things you assume will always be within reach — and then you discover they were a once-in-a-lifetime gift.
So opportunities, noble benefactors (Gui Ren) — you must seize them when they appear. Especially for women, whose professional window is comparatively shorter.
The irony is this: after Wenwen turned down the family office position, I immediately referred the daughter of one of my clients to take it instead.
That young woman — in looks, academics, and raw intuition — was genuinely half a step below Wenwen. But five years of grinding through that environment transformed her completely. She emerged utterly reborn.
People are reshaped by the trials they endure — this has always been true.
Compare the two women today, and the distance between them is vast beyond measure. Wenwen earns one-tenth of what she earns. Wenwen’s social circle sits three full tiers below hers. And in terms of sheer capability, there is simply no comparison.
A long sigh, and a thousand thoughts.
You know, whenever I see young women pouring enormous time and energy into researching how to land a wealthy husband — obsessing over how to check up on him, how to outwit a rival, how to lie awake at night over every grievance and entanglement —
I genuinely cannot understand it. And it’s not because of my gender. It’s because 99% of the women in my own circle wouldn’t dream of wasting their energy on such things.
What if you channeled that same energy into your career instead?
Your life pattern (格局) would open up immediately. And you’d realize, in that very moment, that love — what people call love — truly has the power to both nurture you and destroy you.
This is precisely why, even for the women who come to consult me, my very first step is always to examine and clarify your career fortune and wealth fortune (财运).
Because a woman who commands her own career and wealth will never be held hostage by matters of romance. The question of finding the right match comes down entirely to whether you want to — not whether you can.
And when you unlock your wealth fortune, you’ll come to understand that it doesn’t mean a sudden windfall. It means a complete upgrade of your personal capabilities.
Your abilities sharpen. Your standing rises. Your horizons expand. Your instincts grow refined. And then you come back and tell me you can’t find a good partner?
If you can conquer your career, and you treat finding the right relationship as a career objective — do you honestly think you can’t figure it out?
You should also know that the average age of Master Chi’s clients is thirty and above, and their standing in the world speaks for itself. Women of thirty-five, even forty, finding exceptional, mature partners of a similar age and building beautiful marriages — that happens all the time.
Why?
Because they are impeccably presented, intellectually seasoned, financially capable, and clear-eyed in their understanding of the world — winning on every front.
A woman like that is far more compelling to quality men than an unpolished girl in her twenties with no real depth or substance.
So the moment you develop the ability to create wealth, you’ll find that the vast majority of life’s troubles simply dissolve. Your choices multiply.
Even if you remain single, you can live freely and joyfully — and no one will dare question or judge your path.
So when readers message me asking what a woman should do when she feels lost in life?
My answer is simple: find a way to earn money. Exhaust every effort to discover the wealth fortune that is right for you. Because wealth gives you the confidence to face whatever comes your way.