There are many mistakes and bad habits in life that must never be indulged. Gambling, prostitution, and drugs go without saying — these are ferocious poisons that destroy you the moment you touch them. Of course, things like divorce, accumulating debt, and constantly changing careers are also best avoided whenever possible.
But beyond these obvious pitfalls whose consequences are plain to see, the real poison that ruins your life for good is the kind etched deep into your bones — the kind whose harm you yourself cannot perceive at all. Let’s call these inner poisons what they are: bad habits.
Master Chi has always believed that guiding a woman’s worldview and awareness out of a “lower tier” is at least three to four times harder than doing the same for a man.
To awaken a man’s insight, the most effective approach is to throw him into hardship and let him claw his way out on his own — with only moderate support along the way.
But to awaken a woman’s insight, you must help her conduct a complete overhaul of her worldview, life philosophy, relationship with wealth, and understanding of love and marriage — every detail accounted for, nothing left out.
Life holds many deeply deceptive notions, and few are more misunderstood at their very root than those four words we constantly hear in marriage discussions: “equal standing” (门当户对). Most people get it wrong from the start. Those with shallow perspective tend to think equal standing simply means both families are at a similar level of wealth and social status. Wrong. Completely wrong.
True equal standing means you and your partner must be the same kind of person.
This question is in the eye of the beholder.
In the eyes of a girl who has never seen the world, an upper-tier woman is born that way — born with diamonds, born beautiful, born wealthy, born elegant. She is born with everything perfect.
But in Master Chi’s view, an upper-tier woman is like an aged red wine. Her extraordinary brilliance is something she has distilled within herself. She must pass through layer upon layer of trials and hardships — that is her fortune.
Student Question:
Master Chi, hello. I hope you’ll forgive me for writing to you directly like this.
After reading so many of your articles, I often find myself sinking into a deep sense of defeat — disappointed by what I’ve come to understand about human nature, frustrated by how clearly I can see through society, and overwhelmed by how little natural ability I seem to possess.
I know myself well enough to admit this: I am not the kind of gifted, talented, perceptive young person you write about. My destiny chart is almost certainly the face of someone utterly unremarkable — one face among millions. So I have just one question: Is someone like me truly destined to be used, controlled, and cast aside? To live a life of quiet suffering with nothing to show for it? Am I really incapable of happiness?
The title I originally had in mind for this article was “As a Woman, Remember These Four Slaps That Will Snap You Out of Your Confusion” — but after some thought, I changed it to “four moments.”
For one, “moments” carries a more refined quality. And two, a slap ultimately implies pain and the sting of being struck — yet all I hope for is that you, as a young woman, are able to grow and level up. Pain isn’t a requirement.
The reason people must broaden their horizons throughout their lives is simple: there are too many things in this world that only become real to you once you have witnessed them with your own eyes. Only then do you truly believe in them — and from that belief, you can set meaningful goals and strategies for your own life.
This is also why, once someone steps into the upper-middle class, it becomes remarkably difficult for them to slide back down. Because when you operate at that level, most of the people around you are consistently making high-quality decisions — knowing, for instance, what posture to take when pursuing new wealth opportunities, and understanding that certain things beyond money require early, deliberate preparation.
There was once a question that stumped Master Chi: when people fall into hard times and adversity, why do some manage to claw their way back with remarkable speed — pulling off a stunning comeback — while others simply stay down, sinking deeper into decline until there’s nothing left?
The answer came to me only after witnessing countless real-life examples. The people who never recover? Every single one of them had their vital energy (元气) fundamentally damaged.
After years of wandering the world, Master Chi has had the privilege of observing many powerful clans and distinguished households. If there is one insight to distill from all of it, this phrase captures it best: A family that puts family tradition first will rarely fall into ruin; a family that puts wealth and status first carries the seeds of its own decline.
Those families who measure everything by material standing — so many of them have eventually collapsed amid turbulence, scattered and estranged, their bonds dissolved. The root cause is nothing other than an excess of pragmatism and snobbery.
On the matter of marriage — that great undertaking of a lifetime — Master Chi has one golden principle he hopes you will hold in your heart and live by: before formalizing your marriage commitment, you must bring your partner to share a meal with the most successful and respected acquaintance in your social circle. Prepare for this meal properly — set a generous table, bring some good wine, eat slowly, and let the conversation flow. Afterward, sincerely ask this acquaintance to speak to you candidly about their impressions of both of you — holding nothing back. Yes, it truly is that simple: one meal, a few honest words, and they genuinely can save the course of your entire life.