Many things are difficult simply because there’s no one knowledgeable enough to walk you through them step by step.
The challenge of “marrying up” is no different — there are secrets to it.
Let’s talk about this tonight.
Honestly speaking, people today are both smarter and more pragmatic. Who wouldn’t want a lifelong partner who is reliable, capable, and has real prospects?
So I genuinely understand those readers — men and women alike — who hope to achieve a leap in life through a good marriage.
Long ago, a veteran educator said to me:
In all my years in education, I have never once seen a young person scrimp and save their living expenses to buy textbooks.
Young people will go hungry for video games, romance, socializing — even a pair of shoes. But they will never make that same sacrifice for their own education.
So sometimes I think: for some people, living in poverty is largely a result of their own choices.
Trolls are a resource — a strong feedback signal on social ideology.
Internet trolls can serve as lab rats for the humanities and social sciences.
They come with the following advantages:
Large numbers: No need to worry about insufficient sample sizes. Low cost: They’re everywhere online. Just discuss a controversial topic and they’ll swarm in. High data authenticity: Since the cost of speaking online is low and trolls are driven by emotion, their reactions tend to be genuine expressions of their underlying ideology. Common troll experiment scenarios:
For a woman to live well, there is only one path in this life: keep shining, keep making yourself radiate.
The moment a woman decides to lower her standards and settle for a man, her life’s tragedy begins.
If you enter a relationship having already established an attitude of tolerance and accommodation from the very start — you have already written your own tragic ending.
A man who isn’t up to your level will naturally reflect certain traits. First, he will begin constantly probing and pushing past your boundaries. Second — because people are mirrors for one another — your caliber will trigger a kind of illusion in him. He’ll start to wonder: am I really this exceptional, that a woman of her quality is chasing after me? He begins to drift. He starts trying to validate this inflated sense of his own worth out in the broader market. In the end, a man like this won’t cherish you — he’ll wreck your peace of mind.
In real life, there are plenty of men with money who have it but won’t let you spend it. Then there are men who aren’t as wealthy, but they don’t want your family’s money either — and they’re willing to spend what they earn on you.
Being well-matched in social standing is of course ideal. But if you’ve met many men like that and simply don’t click with any of them, it’s perfectly fine to choose someone who isn’t as well-off — as long as he’s ambitious, capable in what he does, and above all, a man of good character.
As Chinese people, we have always been reserved and understated in matters of the heart. There are things we simply cannot bring ourselves to say out loud — just like her.
She is always slightly furrowed at the brow, disapproving of this or that about you, always trying to steer your life — yet she never once said plainly: I truly love you. I care about you so deeply. I cannot bear to see you suffer, which is why I rush so anxiously to make your decisions for you.
Let me share a personal philosophy of mine: a truly intelligent person will have remarkable clarity when it comes to marriage.
Because if someone cannot see clearly or navigate something as basic as marriage, it means their values, worldview, and life philosophy all contain enormous blind spots.
That’s why they end up tormented and overwhelmed by the endless troubles that come with it.
I’ve always said: if you can’t get past the emotional hurdle, talking about wealth and success is pointless. This is exactly why.
One afternoon over tea, a well-known figure in Shanghai’s elite social circles posed me a question: “Master, why do you have such remarkable insight when it comes to analyzing life patterns and mapping out people’s lives? Why do so many heirs — young and old alike — and women in their prime come specifically seeking you out, even asking me to book an appointment on their behalf?”
Her question caught me off guard for a moment. I reached for my teacup, buying myself a few seconds to mask the pause and gather my thoughts for a dignified response.
Many people who seek consultations tell me that their direct supervisor plays favorites. Leaders are human too — and humans come with subjective feelings.
If their way of doing things runs counter to yours, the two of you simply won’t click.
He has an inexplicable aversion to people taller than himself — you’re 185cm, so you get the cold shoulder.
She’s envious of your looks, so she treats you like a thorn in her side.
Last weekend, I had dinner with a group of brothers from Jiangsu, along the banks of the Huangpu River.
This has been a time-honored ritual among our small circle — most of them are old connections from the years when my family was in real estate.
Though we’ve all since moved into different fields — some forging excellent local ties and making a fortune in those earlier years, others pivoting to industry and riding the wave to grow their companies — the bond between us has never wavered.