As part of the “main text” series that Master Chi writes every so often, this article focuses on how to cultivate and consolidate a powerful personal network in the social arena.
Because this article is intended for those brothers and sisters who are already sharp and gifted, please set aside at least 30 uninterrupted minutes before reading.
My motivation for writing this is simple: I’ve seen far too many readers dragged down by the “foxes and dogs” around them — especially women. Frankly, in today’s world, at least 90% of good women are ruined by the influence of toxic “best friends.”
Consider this article your remedy.
Introduction: In the social arena, the most effective way to judge a person’s real caliber is not by listening to their thunderous boasting and self-promotion — because people lie, and people know how to package themselves.
The most precise method is to set a banquet, invite them to bring a few of their friends to the table, and the whole pecking order — true and false, high and low — becomes immediately clear.
I once shared this thought with the closest brothers and sisters in my private community: The greatest sign of failure in a person is not that they haven’t gotten rich — because not making big money could genuinely be bad timing or a rough fortune cycle.
A person’s true failure is having no circle to lean on.
Think about it: if someone lives to fifty or sixty years old and still has no close brothers, no reliable confidants, no network to depend on — it goes without saying — that person’s character is almost certainly lacking.
It’s simple logic: just how difficult must this person be, if they can’t even make a single genuine friend?
Your circle is your personal “diplomacy.” For those who neglect it, their circle will inevitably be filled with freeloaders, drunken revelry, and zero benefit. For those who master it, their circle becomes the shortcut and rocket fuel for climbing higher.
Name one great figure in this world who got there purely alone, with zero help.
Didn’t the great H achieve his number-one standing partly because he spent two solid weeks playing cards with Cheng Yu-tung? And we need not even mention how masterfully Old Wu kept every significant connection in the Jiangnan region well-tended.
So in this life, it’s fine if you’ve been lying low — what matters is learning to follow fortune and align with noble benefactors (Gui Ren). Because one touch from the right circle, one nudge from the right Gui Ren, is enough to launch you into flight.
But sadly, in today’s world, those who are truly masterful at this “diplomacy” are vanishingly rare. Look at the crowds of working people still stuck at the bottom — almost without exception, they are severely lacking a strong network.
The results speak for themselves. Some circles obsess over property investment strategies, and even the bit players in those circles end up owning several apartments. Some circles spend their days discussing short-term trades and long-term positions, and even the supporting cast have built a real investment skill set.
When you look at those who’ve made genuine reversals in life, nearly every turning point can be traced back to a chance collaboration, a serendipitous partnership — made possible by a Gui Ren’s guiding hand.
This article is divided into two chapters, one for men and one for women:
A truly powerful men’s circle is not poor dogs licking each other’s wounds — it is strong dragons supporting one another.
A truly elite women’s circle is not hens flocking together to cluck — it is flowers blooming in full splendor side by side.
Master Chi strongly recommends you read both chapters carefully, because much of the wisdom crosses over.
A Truly Powerful Men’s Circle Is Not Poor Dogs Licking Each Other — It Is Dragons Rising Together#
1. Grounded. Pure. Simple. Direct.#
These four words may sound ordinary, but they are the most incisive core principles of male social dynamics.
The simpler and purer the reason men come together, the better. Say a group of six or seven men happened to meet through various money-making ventures and deals — that kind of circle is enormously valuable.
Everyone’s purpose is clear, motivations are transparent. Even when there are internal disagreements and friction, everyone is ultimately chasing the same interests and no one will cross the real lines.
More importantly, in this kind of circle you won’t lose out — and by “won’t lose out” I don’t mean you’ll never take a hit. It means either you get swindled, learn a lesson, and walk away wiser; or you make some money together, and everyone’s happy. Either way, the return is real.
The only kind of circle you should avoid is one with no ambition, no drive, no hunger to build something. Never waste your time there.
People are remarkable creatures — they absorb the norms around them and start mistaking those norms for the way the whole world works.
This is why I say the salaried worker’s circle is not worth cultivating — unless there’s a rare genuine connection. Because if you soak in that environment long enough, everything you learn will be about “overtime, expense reports, job applications, and paycheck survival.”
You’ll start thinking that’s all the world has to offer.
But even if you’re hanging out with a bunch of guys who haven’t made it yet either — as long as they’re dreaming of striking it rich every single day — together you’ll grow from naive and laughable to making small money, and then to finding your footing.
Remember: the most interesting game to a man is his career. That’s why the games men play are always filled with leveling up, conquest, rewards, and defeating enemies.
Everyone starts from zero. The fuel is desire and ambition.
One more note: once you have ambition and drive, there’s little need to constantly hang around friends who’ve already made it — unless you have a specific resource need. Having a comfortable life together and actually scheming to build wealth together are two entirely different things.
I myself have a social circle composed mostly of neither businesspeople nor financiers — it is entirely department heads from top-tier hospitals across the Jiangnan delta, leading barristers from southern China, and people with real power inside mid-level institutional systems.
That circle is both clean and useful. When something comes up — whether a major life crisis or a minor headache — as long as I’m willing to call, help is immediately available.
2. Put on Your Socks Before Your Shoes. Be the Junior Before You’re the Elder.#
Every time I read the destiny chart of a rising star in their thirties who comes to consult me, I make a point of telling them: “Stop waiting around looking for a good big brother. Learn first to be a good little brother.”
This is because they often fall into the trap of what I call being níng ba — twisted.
What does “twisted” mean? It means they’ve come into the circle to eat meat and grab benefits, yet they insist on pretending to be equals with the seniors, acting as if they’re on the same level.
Some clueless young fools think this brings them closer to people, makes them seem like genuine brothers. They are dead wrong.
In any men’s circle — even if no one says it out loud — there is an unspoken hierarchy. Nobody officially calls anyone a lieutenant or a boss, but everyone knows exactly where they stand.
That’s why, in the same circle where everyone shows up equally, one person’s word carries the room while another’s can barely get a response.
So if you are genuinely the junior, the newer one — own it. Be a good little brother. Show warmth and goodwill.
Do not for a moment think this is beneath you. Being the little brother actually carries more benefits than you realize, including many invisible ones.
Here’s a question for you: what do men have emotionally that women generally don’t, in greater measure?
Men are typically more likely to act on impulse, and far more sensitive about face.
A truly capable little brother is not just a gofer. He is the left and right arm of the big brother — clearing the path, lighting the way, running point. For that kind of little brother, there is not a single big brother in the world who would say no when he wants to go do something of his own — let alone push back.
And then you have both backing and a platform. How good is that?
So yes, you may be capable and talented — no argument there. But if you lack the actual standing of a big brother yet carry the temperament of one, that’s called overstepping yourself.
Starting from the little brother role and building steadily — that is the path most in your favor.
A true man can bend and can stand tall. Most people can only do one or the other.
Let me say something blunt: this is like keeping a dog. When someone shows aggression toward the big brother, even a dog bares its teeth. If you can’t manage even that, why would the circle bother including you? Give me one good reason.
3. Never Be the Villain. And I Mean Never.#
One key difference between men’s circles and women’s circles is this: in women’s circles, the high-end circles already exist — you just need to find them and get in. In men’s circles, most elite groups were once low-level groups that slowly climbed up together.
The reason isn’t hard to understand: compared to women, men are far more inclined to pull each other up.
It’s not that women lack loyalty — it’s just not as constant or culturally embedded.
This also means that someone you once considered a nobody might one day become the top figure.
In that process, many people commit a fatal mistake: they become addicted to condescending, suppressing, belittling, and ignoring others.
Remember this: “The reason a big brother is a big brother is precisely because he takes the little brothers seriously.”
Over years of navigating the social arena, I have encountered countless so-called big players. But those who achieve lasting, enduring strength — you can weigh their caliber in a single glance. When I then look at their destiny framework, I find myself saying: “Just as I expected.”
What makes the difference?
The truly enduring ones never badmouth people behind their backs — not even close acquaintances who have fallen on hard times, even when everyone knows that person has serious flaws. A real big brother only ever speaks well of others, always projecting generosity and magnanimity.
And with the juniors and the younger generation, beyond maintaining necessary authority, they show genuine care and mentorship. Small favors — done. Small problems — sorted. They never wave you off with “I’m busy” just because they’ve risen. At minimum, they acknowledge you.
People who can do this cannot fail in this lifetime. It’s essentially guaranteed.
The ones to fear are those who, with even the smallest bit of success — sometimes no real success at all — look down on this one and sneer at that one. They gossip and mock people behind their backs. To their faces, they create obstacles and make things difficult.
Some are even foolish enough to use whatever scraps of influence they have to publicly humiliate others to their face.
These people are provincial, small-minded fools. Tragically, most nouveau riche who have never seen the wider world are exactly this type — so their downfall is inevitable, no question.
For you: never do these stupid, dirty things in your entire life.
Why is it that throughout history, emperors and generals — even when everyone knew the order came from them — would always work through a proxy when doing something that made enemies?
For no other reason than to avoid making things look too ugly. Even if it’s all theater, you still put on the performance. Even if no one believes it.
Understanding this is the bare minimum required to one day take the elder’s seat in your circle. Otherwise, be at peace with staying a follower.
A Truly Elite Women’s Circle Is Not Hens Flocking Together — It Is Flowers Blooming as One#
1. Lean, Tight, Clean, and Small — Four to Five People Is Enough#
For women, one of the most important rules in social dynamics is this: never join a large-scale women’s circle.
Those circles with a dozen or more women organized together — no matter how noble the stated intentions — the moment the numbers grow too large, things will curdle.
Three women make a full drama; it’s been true since ancient times. Go beyond that number and you have guaranteed chaos and palace intrigue, no exceptions.
By contrast, a small, carefully curated circle will naturally take on the character of a sisterhood — built on mutual help and mutual trust. There’s no “audience” effect driving everyone to compete and lose sight of the point.
When something comes up, you can call on each other immediately.
You can maintain three or four such small circles simultaneously, developing in parallel across all of them.
Just don’t be naive enough to merge them together. This wastes energy, and to other women of standing, it signals a certain cheapness — like you’re showing off your entire hand.
That’s also basic social intelligence: a connection, a resource, a relationship — its value lies precisely in the fact that others don’t know you hold that card.
Low-caliber women, to appear impressive, constantly name-drop: “This is my friend, that’s my bestie, that’s my so-and-so.” But when you actually need help, they have to go pay a visit, bring gifts, and work the angles.
What era do you think we’re living in? Still bringing gifts to curry favor? Please. How embarrassing.
A high-caliber woman? Calm as a chrysanthemum, easygoing on the surface. But when you genuinely need something, at 9:30 at night a WeChat message appears: “Sis, tomorrow afternoon, go to this office, ask for so-and-so, tell them you’re my friend. I’ve got you.”
You never know how many cards she’s holding or how deep her network runs. That is a true elite among women.
2. No Dead Weight — Every Woman Stands on Her Own Two Feet#
No woman in the circle should be dead weight. Every one of them should be someone who can hold her own.
They can be single. They can have had multiple marriages. They can be a VP with a prestigious title but modest actual earnings. They can be a small business owner with a low-profile position but solid cash flow.
Everyone has flaws — but every woman must have at least one real, demonstrable capability to her name.
Keep a wide distance from anyone who constantly boasts about their wealth, yet whose behavior and speech instantly reveal they’re just a social climber. These people are standard-issue troublemakers who will muddy your entire network.
And those women who say “I want to be better! I’m so motivated to improve!” yet spend every day lamenting their fate — cut them off and remove them immediately.
Otherwise, prepare to become a full-time poverty assistance program and a midnight emotional support hotline.
One more thing: true social mastery means knowing exactly what each friend is actually capable of. Don’t let familiarity breed contempt — just because someone’s flaws have been exposed to you over time doesn’t mean you stop taking them seriously.
The most foolish kind of woman loves to look down on old friends, thinking she has the full picture because she knows everything about them.
A truly high-caliber woman’s greatest skill is making even old friends treat her like a new noble benefactor (Gui Ren) every single time.
The secret? Whether it’s the first meeting or the ten-thousandth — she still gives old friends and old sisters genuine respect and affection.
Why do some fools end up with fewer and fewer friends, their paths growing narrower and narrower?
While the masters keep every friend they’ve ever made, accumulating an ever-growing network of quality connections?
3. Blades Pointed Outward — Each Woman Plays Her Role#
Truly elite women’s circles share one cultural constant: “Everyone inside is a comrade-in-arms, not just a girlfriend.”
So these four or five women are not spending their days gossiping over afternoon tea. They are regularly convening, strategizing, and plotting how to point the blade outward.
Say a business opportunity comes along. A great opening. A major Gui Ren is within reach. Sisters — how do we move in and claim it?
It’s remarkable: these circles always seem to have one electrifyingly bold “serpent spirit” who opens the door and breaks new ground. There’s always a “phoenix of foundation” with deep resources who serves as the anchor. And there’s always a “crane of wisdom” — the strategist who plans the moves, avoids risks, and evaluates returns.
That is the true nature of an elite women’s circle.
Otherwise, why do you think some women — the moment they’re separated from their husband or father — become nothing?
While other women, as long as their sisterhood circle has their back, fear nothing?
This is also why, among first-tier cities, Beijing and Shanghai’s Bund carry a depth and gravitas that Shenzhen simply doesn’t match — and it’s not because of architecture, environment, or lifestyle.
It’s because once you actually enter society, you realize: the deeper a city’s roots, the more of these tight inner circles it contains.
And no wonder — these sisterhoods are not built overnight. They are formed by young women who grew up with similar backgrounds, refined by wave after wave of the tide, until only the purest essence remains condensed into a small, concentrated circle.
That kind of thing cannot be forged in a city where everyone is a newcomer.