Whether you are a wanderer of the jianghu or a self-made individual, if you want to make your mark in this world, you cannot do it without the help and support of others. The old saying that a single post cannot hold up a building has never been wrong.
Whether it’s getting someone to help you with a small favor, finding a powerful patron, seeking a romantic partner, or finding a partner for life — none of it happens outside the web of human connection and exchange.
Conversely, when Master Chi reads life patterns (格局), he has also witnessed many people whose own charts were entirely auspicious, yet whose “servants’ palace” was in ruin — leaving them deceived and dragged down by those they trusted most. (The servants’ palace in BaZi refers to what is now called the friends’ palace — the sector governing associates and companions.)
For men, the downfall came from dancing with wolves. For women, the loss came from choosing the wrong people.
Ask those who have fallen from their peak — eight or nine times out of ten, it was the people they trusted most, those closest to them, who brought them down.
This is why, even at my age today, Master Chi places enormous value on the quality of his connections.
Remember: when it comes to relationships, those of inferior quality — the low-grade, beneath-your-standard kinds — it is better to have none at all, better to avoid them entirely, than to linger among them.
Conversely — and this is a frank, even calculating thing to say — those high-caliber, elevated, well-timed connections: you absolutely cannot afford to miss them. Strike while the iron is hot. Learn to reach upward toward those worth reaching for.
Because when connections gather, they naturally form a circle. A group of people dedicated to building careers and creating wealth, for instance, carries a culture that is entirely positive and beneficial to you — and you will naturally absorb that mindset as your way of life. Nothing but benefit.
But if a group spends its days in wine and debauchery, chasing pleasure and wasting potential — the longer you steep in that environment, the more it will influence and contaminate you. Don’t believe the saying about the lotus that grows pure from muddy water. That doesn’t happen here.
So this article is written for every ambitious person who hopes to find and break into elite social circles.
Today, I’ll start with the masculine chapter.
1. Top-Tier Men Are Creatures of Extreme Pragmatism#
Lower-tier men commonly make one particular mistake: they are far too quick to treat the boastful middle-aged man — the one always dropping names and talking big, who “knows this person” and is “close with that person” — as their noble benefactor (Gui Ren) or elder brother.
Why? Because they lack the ability to discern, so they judge by appearance and manner of speech. But we all know the saying: all surface, no substance.
Deferring to that type is a sign of someone who has never been truly tested by the world.
The best way to gauge a man’s caliber is not through others’ flattery or his own bragging.
There is only one precise method: sit down with him, face to face, and talk for a stretch of time. Let that conversation cut through the fog.
One day you will realize — whether a man has real substance is not measured by how far and wide he can talk. It is measured by whether he has genuine, deep knowledge of the work he claims to pursue, whether he understands the edges and frameworks of that domain, and whether he can apply that knowledge to generate real results.
A true heavyweight does not need alcohol or jokes to set the stage.
Two or three people. A private room. A table of food — a few bites between exchanges. That is enough.
The drunkard’s heart is not in the wine; the master’s heart is not in the feast.
What matters is this: What is the core logic of the matter at hand? How is our contribution of effort and capital being arranged? Who are the key people involved, and how exactly can they help?
The whole picture — clean and clear, no loose ends. That is the attitude and presence of a man who actually gets things done.
As for the one who holds his liquor impressively, speaks as if he knows everything, and fires off jokes effortlessly — forgive me, that man is your room entertainer. He is not in the core circle of those who make things happen.
Do you honestly believe that the men who accomplish great things are the loud-mouthed ones?
2. High-Caliber Men Prefer to “Hurt Feelings”#
“Hurting feelings” here does not mean deliberately attacking or insulting others. Rather, it means that strong men intentionally maintain a carefully calibrated distance from one another.
Unlike the loyalty-first mentality of youth, men who have achieved both wealth and standing are no longer prisoners of brotherhood. This is not a dismissal of loyalty — it is simply that loyalty is unreliable and far too intangible.
Put 300 million yuan on the table and tell you that to close this deal, you have to cut your closest friend out of it. Would you cut him?
Don’t answer me. Of the people Master Chi has known, 99% would say they wouldn’t — but 99% of the situations he has witnessed showed people cutting without hesitation.
Because when a person matures, so many things outrank loyalty: family, responsibility, desire.
Many lower-tier circles are obsessed with brotherhood — bonds that no money can break, they say. That’s precisely because they will never see that kind of money in their lifetimes.
Turn on the television. At the bottom rungs of society, people fall out with parents and blood siblings over a single apartment. What chance does abstract loyalty stand against real stakes?
It is precisely because I want to be your partner for the long haul, and precisely because we will one day divide real wealth — that I am going to lay out the financial terms clearly between us.
And money, truly, is a fascinating thing. When you learn to make it the core thread running through human relationships, it paradoxically becomes the best builder of genuine networks.
Why do some noble benefactors (Gui Ren) choose to guide and elevate you? Because you know how to share the benefits and show proper respect. Otherwise — you’re not their son or blood brother. Why would they go out of their way for you?
Why do some loyal subordinates run the miles for you? Because you know how to distribute rewards and resources. No one is born servile. Why else would they orbit your world?
You see — this is the world’s great paradox. A network is, in the end, a web woven from money and mutual interest.
So I always encourage those who come to me for destiny readings — especially those in investment and capital — don’t be thin-skinned or embarrassed to talk about money. This isn’t pettiness. This is getting things straight.
How hungry are you? How thirsty are you? Just say it. When it’s spoken aloud, everyone can breathe easier. Otherwise, you sit there with eyes burning with hunger, yet pound your chest claiming you don’t want a share of the cake — and people will wonder what you’re really after.
3. Powerful Men Are Not Just Players — They Are Chess Masters#
“You cannot be content to always have a patron as your pillar. You must also become someone else’s patron — accepting others’ reliance upon you, and managing their loyalty wisely.”
A man’s true caliber is measured not only by whether he has the instinct and talent to get things done himself, but also by whether he has the makings of a chess master.
This, in fact, becomes the watershed that determines whether a man rises to become a helmsman or remains a follower for the rest of his life.
Among men, you will find that some are born to be led, born to follow. They have never had the courage to stand entirely on their own, never had the resolve to shoulder the full weight of something themselves.
Put them under someone’s leadership and ask them to work hard and contribute — they will. Ask them to fly solo — they won’t dare.
This is why men with true leadership presence, in addition to managing their relationships with those above them, deliberately gather around them a cohort of people younger, less senior, less experienced, and less capable — people they can direct and deploy.
Sometimes I tell people who are built for great things: you must not only learn to seize the noble benefactors (Gui Ren) that fate sends you, you must also learn to command the supporting players in your life.
Do not underestimate this. The vast majority of powerful men and women Master Chi has encountered are skilled chess masters. They understand very clearly — when pursuing a goal — who needs to provide momentum, who needs to provide capital, and who needs to open doors.
Of course, they also know which pieces to use heavily, which are just borrowed for a move or two, and which are, frankly, sacrificial — destined to take the blow at a critical moment. All of this is clear in their minds.
Closing#
Beneath this entire article, what Master Chi most hopes his male readers take away is an answer to the fundamental question: what, exactly, is a network?
After much reflection, perhaps this comes closest:
Every connection you have should never be treated as merely a person you know — someone to run a small errand through or ask a casual favor of.
You should approach this like a chess master armed with deep strategy and powerful judgment — able to read every person you know, and able to borrow, utilize, and deploy their strengths within reasonable bounds, adding piece by piece to the structure of your fate and your enterprise.
Some people should be your noble benefactors — to guide you, to show you the path. Some should be your partners — to strategize with, to deliberate alongside. Some should be your foot soldiers — to be deployed, to run the miles on your behalf.
As the saying goes: “He who commands men well may conquer ten thousand endeavors.”
Since you are an independent, powerful, decisive, and exceptional man — knowing how to play every piece on your board is a capability that is rightfully yours.
And truly, think about it: among the great champions of masculine competition, was there ever one who was content to be a chess piece for life?
Even any man of moderate achievement and standing will inevitably, as he rises, become the pillar that those around him lean on — the one others willingly follow and commit their efforts to.